QUOTE OF THE NOW

"Our life evokes our character. You find out more about yourself as you go on. That's why it's good to be able to put yourself in situations that will evoke your higher nature rather than your lower. 'Lead us not into temptation.'" Joseph Campbell

Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Wizard of Oz's wizard was a racist, but his mother-in-law was le awesome

Today was one of those read-all-the-internet days. And after hours of random reading, I came across two editorials L Frank Baum wrote calling for the genocide of the Sioux. w...t...f...

He was living in South Dakota at the time of Wounded Knee. He felt that, thanks to white people, the honorable days of the Indians were behind them. (Clearly the Noble Savage trope goes well back into the 1800s.) They were now reduced to miserable cowards, and it was better to kill them all, and let us just remember them As They Used to Be.


"With his fall the nobility of the Redskin is extinguished, and what few are left are a pack of whining curs who lick the hand that smites them.... Why not annihilation? Their glory has fled, their spirit broken, their manhood effaced; better that they die than live the miserable wretches that they are."

Which just sounds like justification for the other part of his argument--that the Plains Indians will be so filled with desire for revenge, no white settler is safe unless they're all killed off. (I guess he didn't know ethnic cleansing would work just fine.)

"Having wronged them for centuries we had better, in order to protect our civilization, follow it up by one more wrong and wipe these untamed and untamable creatures from the face of the earth."





You can read the short editorials here, as well as a good commentary on them. As this professor wrote, you can try to read them as satire (à la Modest Proposal) but they probably weren't. Even the best thing an Oz fan blog can muster is that this was a very dark time in his life and he might have done it to sell his paper.*

So from most accounts he was a kind man, against bigotry on principle, but at the same time a reflection of the worst of his time and place. But here's the weird part. His mother-in-law was one Matilda Joslyn Gage, and someone he greatly admired and was influenced by. Because of her he was a feminist.

Gage: (1) was part of the Underground Railroad; (2) was a radical suffragette who successfully confronted police, and believed in equality not because women were morally superior, but because it was their right; (3) was religious, but highly critical of the church; (4) before Baum's editorials, wrote in defense of upholding Indian treaties, and later praised the Iroquois notion of inherent rights, spent time with them, and was adopted into a clan. So very much not of her time and place. Very much ahead of her time. My new hero.




...I can only conclude that she was out of town when the first editorial was printed, and after the second one she chased him around the house with a broom, and hit home over the head with his own paper. And then I hope he changed his views.

To add to this story, the tribe fighting the Washington Redskins is going to open an Oz themed casino.

Man o man. People are complex. More on that tomorrow.

___
* Boy can I respect a fan page that goes into a detailed description of all the racism in its author's books.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Skull Dishcloths

Time for some crochet.

My friend TheBoy often fixes things for us, often for free. He's our only friend with a chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse--we rely on him utterly.

I wanted to make a thank-you gift, and since he does all the house cleaning ;-)  I decided on dish cloths. But what pattern? What theme? At first I tried to find something in a boxer dog pattern, but couldn't find anything I liked. I saw some motorcycle ones (knit patterns), they were ok. But finally struck upon skulls.

I tried to make a cloth of mini skulls, based on this hat pattern. But my skulls don't show up well. Maybe the tapering shape of the hat brings out the skull pattern better. The pattern is "Creepy Skulls" by Spider Mambo. Also, my finishing row ended up wrinkled. So not a big success, but was fun to try.


Mine looks more like a bunch of screaming banshees.

But I also made three with just a half double crochet background, and a skull applique sewn on.

Here's the skull pattern, by Claude.



And here are mine. Looking at the original, I guess I could have more carefully sewn around the eyes, to open them up. But I think I like their rather pathetic, squinty expressions.


Monday, June 22, 2015

Baby Ivan and the Silver Screen

Sometimes I wish my friend Ms Brownlow was a writer, like a novelist. Because there's something about the way she writes when she emails me--it's exactly my sense of humor. Maybe it's the way we both see the Rich Inner Lives of babies and animals.

My friends sent a video of baby Ivan. His a picture star now!

He didn't have his little hat. I hope there hasn't been a rash of hat thievery about the preemie ward. And his eyes were closed. His face still has a foetus-ee look about it, around the nose and eyes. And then the father's hand enters the picture, touches Ivan's head, and it's like OMG that baby is le tiny!!

Here's how I *read* that video:

“Sam Roberts? Is that you?”
“It’s your parents, Baby."
“I can hear you guys, but I can’t … omg I can’t see. I can’t see!”
“Well this is what you get when you come out of the oven 3/4 baked, Baby.”
“Oh. …Where’s my hat? I can’t have company without my hat.”
“Shhh.”
“...And tell the giant not to squish my head.”

I shared the video with Ms Brownlow, cause we share everything. She always enters into the spirit of things. This was her reply:

Definitely a premie, but a strong little one, almost ready to venture forth and have many Adventures.  Open eyes make adventures more fun, so he may want to wait just that little bit before he does much more, though.  But he can make plans.  And set his intent.  Intention is a big part of everything, or so they tell me.

[HIs parents sound really nice, by the way, so he may just want to hang around long enough to get to know them.  They may be good to know for visiting with from time to time, in between Adventures.  Just saying, Ivan.  And growing a little bit first wouldn't be a bad thing, while you're getting your eyes to open.  And those parents do sound nice.]

___

 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Yes Virginia, there is book hoarding

 

I don't know why, but I've become mildly perturbed by the way we hold books as sacred. Buying them is always alright, and destroying them is teh evils.

But books are just consumer goods, and they're not magically exempt from our materialistic, over-consumptive North American lifestyle. Just because you can donate them somewhere after doesn't mean they don't harm the environment. At least half of the books donated to thrift stores go straight to recycling (or a discount center and then recycling) and the ones that don't sell follow. Just because you're donating a book doesn't mean someone's going to buy it. It's not going to live for 1000s of years.

In the book industry, the paperbacks that aren't sold and need to be returned to the publishers are not even returned whole. They rip off the covers and recycle the rest.

I take in donations for a thrift store, and at least once a week someone says "I just hate to throw out books" to me. This is usually before they bring me their 1976 encyclopedia set. I've had to explain over and over that information from a 1970s encyclopedia is no longer useful. You can't do a school report on South Africa using 1978 information. And no, neither can children in Africa. And no ma'am, shipping encyclopedias would be prohibitively expensive. Not to mention people in developing countries have better and cheaper cell networks than we do.

No one wants your Jacques Cousteau series. Your Readers Digest condensed novels. Your 20 year collection of National Geographics. Your Microwave Cooking Made Easy. Your 20 year old nursing text book. No one wants your Time Life cook books, except The Gallery of Regrettable Food.



If I sound bitter it's because I recently cut my collection down from about 2000 books, to 500. Maybe less, hopefully less. I'll make another pass at it. Do you know how time and muscle consuming it is to cart 1500 books out of your home?

Don't believe the propaganda! (sobs) (Or at least just switch to ebooks. No one can see my mp3 hoarding.)






Coming Soon to a Home Near You...


____

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Balcony days...

We're having a couple days of sunny skies, but cool air. Perfect for grabbing a laptop and some cats and heading out to the balcony. Haley likes to sit on the bench with me, and have schnoogles.






But it's a bit challenging when there's a predator under the bench, swatting at her through the slats.



Today we saw a shiny blue wasp. I've never seen one before. Apparently it's a mud dauber and not aggressively, but unfortunately I scared it away with all my flailing.


A truck has pulled up--someone's moving. I'm going to sit here and judge all their things, but the cats have taken the high road and retreated inside (aka scared of loud noises.) [Update: They're doing a terrible job loading this van. All horizontal, not enough vertical. They're leaving--so either they just made it, or they'll be back. ...They're go the cats! I'm going to miss hearing them run around. I haven't seen the new puppy leave yet, maybe they took him out this morning.]

Yesterday and today I could smell some funny cigarette-ahj.

Panoramic view from my messy balcony...
We used to joke with my mother about the giant velour blankets being sold out of a trailer on a road side, so one year she bought us (me, Fernando, brother, sister-in-law) all one. They're actually really warm!
You see there's lots of opportunities to spy on neighbors. The people on the middle balcony have a pulley, I assume for bringing stuff up? I've never seen it in action. 
And then a little greenery on the side.

 My polka dot Ikea curtains. I found one panel at one thrift store chain, and the other panel at a different thrift store chain. So now you know there actually is a patron angel of thrift shopping.


___
Song in my head... mostly cause the line "smoking funny things" comes in my head when I smell skunk.


Friday, June 19, 2015

It's Baby's town now...

My friends just had their first baby. This kid is going to be very independent, he came 11 weeks early, kicking at the womb entrance. Just so he could wear one of those cool preemie hats.

Now he's got his own place--who moves out at -11 weeks old?--at the new "Super Hospital." He's basically just off on his own, living his own life, with his own entourage.

And now I find out he's going to his first concert:

"After the largest and most complex move in the history of Canadian hospitals, the McGill University Health Centre (MUHC) announced today a Montreal-style festival weekend to celebrate this accomplishment. Local artists Sam Roberts Band and Stéphanie Lapointe will perform on the evenko stage at the Glen site's inauguration celebrations"
The kid can't digest milk, yet he's off to his first concert. I wrote him a sharply worded email that I'd better not catch him smoking funny cigarettes with the Sam Roberts Band.

I wish I was a cartoonist so I could capture the shenanigans of Baby: Man About Town.

In other Baby news, he has a Russian name--which I of course won't use here (what's the fun of blogging if you can't give everyone pseudonyms) so let's say his name is Ivan. Meanwhile his cat brother is named Pedro. So I don't expect Baby's troublemaking to stop when he gets home, because then begins The Secret Adventures of Ivan and Pedro.



Sunday, June 14, 2015

Not Since Cobain Has Protest Been So Mumbley!

CBC disc jockey played the song Saturday morning, and was describing the video--how it's a protest video, and if you listen to the lyrics you'll know just what she's protesting.

And then I had a good laugh cause I can never understand more than 1 out of 10 words in any Frazey Ford song. I love her, but she's Queen of Mumbles.



I was taking every hit from you
you drive by shooting son of a bitch, and I'm done
Oh whoa, I'm done

Who told you you could rewrite the rules, and do you
really take me for a goddamn fool 'cause I'm done,
Oh whoa, I'm done

And you can drag me out before some authority
If that's what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't keep the peace anymore
With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door
You've been puncing my weaknesses, slandering my name
you spent all your time trying to place your blame, and I'm done
Ohhh, I'm done

I used to think I hold the best parts of me,
but sew the holes in your life and the cracks in your seams,
and I'm done
Oh whoa, I'm done.

And I'm sorry that you don't like your life
I fought for my own victories and for the beauty in my life
My joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
no, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you

Well, you criticize my numbers, you hammer out the rules
wait for me to fuck up, and find yourself some proof
and I'm done
Oh whoa, I'm done.

You just soak in the hatred of a sorry line
yeah, you hide behind decorum and a fake smile,
and I'm done
Oh whoa, I'm done

And you can drag me out before a judge in authority
if that's what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
but I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't keep the peace anymore
With your doubts, with your doubts, in my door
Well I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't keep the peace anymore
With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door

Friday, June 12, 2015

Sometimes the sign you're looking for is literally a sign

So we're doing Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy now. It's been a few weeks and we're quite happy. EFT comes from a Canadian researcher and has the highest success rate at helping couples improve their relationships, and the effect lasts. (75% success rate I believe.) But our therapist also likes to draw on Brene Brown, because her vulnerability research fits in very well with EFT.

So one of the themes that keeps occurring is that, when responding to each other, our instinctive reaction is generally the safe one. The one meant to protect us. But it doesn't help you bond. You can instead choose to make yourself vulnerable, which is risky, but more successful.

With that in mind, here's my little story. I was at work a few days ago, sorting books, which sometimes means pulling off sticky notes and tabs. I pulled a heart shaped sticky note off a book, but wasn't near the garbage, so I stuck it to the side of my cart and went on with my work. I didn't read it.

The next day at work I thinking about this vulnerability stuff. Thinking about how to handle a personal situation, and thinking about the vulnerable option, knowing I should take it. And at the same time I was thinking about a coming job interview--I applied for a position where I'd be working in French all the time. And of course the interview would be all in French. I was wondering if I'd made a mistake in applying, cause there's no way they'll think my French good enough. But--I thought--it's probably not a mistake, cause I'm making myself vulnerable to looking like an idiot. I'm taking a chance. Right?

Then I looked up at my cart and saw the sticky note I'd stuck to the side:


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Songs So Cheesy You Go Vegan #2

I can't decide whether this song is jerky, or fromaggio. Is it jerky to take, in secret, the phone call of your ex girlfriend? And to be all "girl you make it hard to be faithful" ?

I've always slotted this song into a third category: You have to be 16 to love it.

You just know there are all these teen girls out there, whose boyfriends have new girlfriends, and these girls hear this song and are all "This is how he feels about me and her. I just know it!" It's actually embarrassing to listen to.

To add to the fromage of it all: the whine in his tone, the woman wearing underwear, feeling a photo, and the singer's poor imitation of Steven Tyler mannerisms.

Bonus Material: The best comments from youtube. At end of post.



"Lips Of An Angel"

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue














Monday, June 8, 2015

Songs That Are So Fromage You Decide to Go Vegan #1 : Glen Campbell

My dad made some suggestions for my Songs by Jerks series, so I'm looking them up to see if I agree.

He suggested this song by Glen Campbell. I actually think it should win a much more prestigious award: Songs That Are So Fromage You Decide to Go Vegan. Oh my days. How can one find jerkiness in lyrics that are just so overwhelmingly horrible? Thank God my dad is here to share these things with me. LOVE IT.

Highlights:

I still might run in silence tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me 'til I'm blind


 I dip my cup of soup back from a gurglin'
Cracklin' caldron in some train yard
My beard a rustling
But do read those last two verses in full (after the videos), cause they're a worse of cheese-art.






Though the wheat fields and the clothes lines
And the junkyards and the highways come between us
And some other woman's cryin' to her mother
'Cause she turned and I was gone
I still might run in silence tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me 'til I'm blind
But not to where I cannot see you walkin' on the backroads
By the rivers flowing gentle on my mind

I dip my cup of soup back from a gurglin'
Cracklin' caldron in some train yard
My beard a rustling, cold towel, and
A dirty hat pulled low across my face
Through cupped hands 'round the tin can
I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're waiting from the backroads
By the rivers of my memories
Ever smilin' ever gentle on my mind

S to the j (or: Should you keep me?)

So organizer Marie Kondo has a central question for us, when we're going through our things: Does this spark joy?

“Keep only the things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest,” she advises. “When you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too. As a result, you can see quite clearly what you need in life and what you don’t.” (WSJ)

I wonder if this is a useful criteria for relationships too. When I heard the phrase, it made me think of my husband--it was the clearest expression of why I want to be with him. It cuts through the clutter, so to speak.

I used to think, of my friends, that I tend to only remain friends with people who are interested in growing. But sparking joy might be a better categorization.

But then, I guess you have to take the relationship as a whole. It's got to be more than a Once in Awhile thing. In the Kondo organizing world, you'd take all your friends, heap them on the bed, and then pick each one up one by and one and see how you feel.

"Sparking joy can be different from evoking happy memories, Kondo said. You can look at a sentimentally freighted item and feel happiness remembering the times when you used it. But that’s often a quiet sensation. When something sparks joy, you feel it viscerally, Kondo said. That’s why, to determine whether an object sparks joy, you have to touch it, not just look at it from a distance." (Market Watch)

 Ah yes, there's that too. There are some people you'll always have some fond memories about. Again, not the same thing as "sparking joy."

Alright. I'd better go to bed before this analogy falls apart.

Here's a song that s my j.


Sunday, June 7, 2015

Songs by Jerks #3 - The (Supposed) Boss

Fire - Bruce Springsteen

Bruce always seems to get a pass on this one. I'll just say... he's lucky he wrote it in 1977, before the "no means no" slogan came about. And he's lucky the Pointer Sisters covered it, moving the perspective from a male one...

I'm pulling you close
You just say no
You say you don't like it
But I know you're a liar

To  a female one...

Late at night you're taking me home
You say you wanna stay
I say I wanna be alone
I say I don't love you
But you know I'm a liar

Look: Just as you can't rely on an erection or a girl being wet to tell you whether someone's actually turned on, you can't kiss them and think: "Ooh! Hot hot hot! She wants it!" The hotness might be all in your head.

It really is the rape-culture-iest song in history. There are no blurred lines here. She is saying no, and he knows she's lying. Oh buddy. The 70s were a different time alright.



___
 Was I being tongue in cheek with this series? Yes. But amIright? Yes. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Songs by Jerks #2 - The Beach Boys

Beach Boys: Fun Fun Fun

FunX3? Or patronizingX3? At first he seems to admire that this girl drives fast, but when her dad finally catches her cruising around instead of going to the library...

1. The background singers give her the shames. "You shouldn't have lied now, you shouldn't have lied now." Seriously? Does she need a second father? Are these background singers surfers, or members of the Christian Youth League?

2. It's the glee, the sheer glee that she's lost her car, and now he gets to drive her around. "Ha ha! Take that! Thought you could drive fast like the boys eh? Well your daddy showed you, and NOW we'll have fun cause you'll need me to get around!"

Meanwhile she's probably sitting there in the passenger seat, looking out the window, the righteous burn of feminist fury growing in her belly. These are the moments where the next wave of feminism took root.

And if he finds his tires slashes, he shouldn't be surprised now, he shouldn't be surprised now.



Friday, June 5, 2015

Songs by Jerks #1 - Adele

Sometimes I hear a song and I think: That narrator is really just an asshole.

Adele: Someone Like You

This is the most passive aggressive break-up song I've ever heard. "I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited... I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over."

So you show up at your ex's house just to say: Hey pal, how's it going? Well I just came over to remind you that YOU BROKE MY MOTHERFUCKING HEART AND I'M STILL DYING OUT HERE WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE CAVORTING WITH YOUR NEW FLOOZY! Really Adele. Get some class.



Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Residential Schools - Put it in your heart

I want to get rid of the Indian problem. I do not think as a matter of fact, that the country ought to continuously protect a class of people who are able to stand alone… Our objective is to continue until there is not a single Indian in Canada that has not been absorbed into the body politic and there is no Indian question, and no Indian Department, (Duncan Campbell-Scott, Department of Indian Affairs)

Canada's Truth and Reconciliation Commission is just wrapping up this week. The commission traveled across the country, giving aboriginal people a chance to tell their experiences of being taken away to live in schools "set up to eliminate parental involvement in the intellectual, cultural, and spiritual development of Aboriginal children." 

Hopefully a few more Canadians will now understand that if you take generations of children, rip them from their families, tell them their worthless, and subject many of them to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse--yeah, you're going to get alcoholism and other social problems. On a big scale. As well as anger, and renewed fights for land, independence, and better living conditions.

Oh it's a big horrible mess. I'm glad the commission is using "cultural genocide" in its conclusion, cause these schools, along with other policies that outlawed cultural practices, were a conscious attempt by governments to erase indigenous people.

I was reading a lovely story on the CBC about an Anglican couple who witnessed one of the Commission's gatherings, and when they sought help to learn more, forged a friendship with a man who'd been raped at school. I recommend reading it, cause it's a great example of how healing between people begins. When you put aside ignorance and choose compassion.

Images of life appear 
Regret and anger, love and fear 
Dark things drift across the screen 
Of mind behind whose veil are seen 
Loves ferocious eyes, and clear 
The words come flying to my ear 
Go on -- put it in your heart

Reading

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Les années douces : Volume 1
Back on the Rez
My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey
Stupeur et tremblements
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