Frenchisation of Mabel Part 2

All day I'm looking up little bits of vocabulary (canicule= heat wave), checking a verb tense I'm unused to, checking my feminin masculine nouns, checking that I've got a turn of phrase just right. I'm googling away all shift. It's good! I look forward to my French in one year's time. Lots of Anglos leave for Quebec because the language holds them back professionally; but I've always wished I could simply be fluent enough to Make It. And now I've got the chance.

My friends who grew up in French school don't have this problem. Their French isn't perfect, but it doesn't worry them anymore it would in English. I only learned in grade six--early enough to learn fast, but too late to achieve supa child fluency.

A few years ago I started purposely watching French tv series--mainlining, like one does nowadays. And saw my fluency leap forward. I suddenly remembered that I really enjoyed learning French. I was good at it. I'm fairly good at languages. That gave me the confidence to dip into Arabic while I decided whether to do a PhD or not. And that was fun too!

So I've got some anxiety, but I'm having fun. The other day a woman with a Spanish accent pronounced rendezvous so strangely, she had to define the word before I understood her! It was sooo different, her prounciation, and her French somewhat broken--it was comical. Both of us, i mean. Like a comedy routine, the Anglo and the Spanish Lady.

Frenchisation of Mabel Part 1

 In week 4 of my new receptionist job. Second week on my own. I never talked about my old job much, the book chain for 15 years--just as internet safety. But the strange thing about an all French speaking company is that my job is somewhat in a different world. I have two fb friends, one who no longer works there, one who's my "work spouse." Neither work at the head office.

Not that I plan to air dirty laundry and such. But it's a nice separation.

My brain has adjusted to the French. The first week I felt language fatigue, but week two it was gone. I did all my high school in French, so struggling through a French environment isn't unnatural to me. Just been awhile.

I'm unhappy with many aspects of my French, but today I had a happy thought. Eventually my basic work will be routine and eventually boring--the repetitive parts. But as long as my French needs improving, a part of me will feel challenged. Instead of feeling anxiety imposter syndrom, I'm going to look on the French as the really rewarding part of my job.

You get imposter syndrom, right? Every moment I'm afraid I'll be found out as a fraud and fired for my verb tense mistakes. Even though no one I work with has shown the least concern.

One can only buy new clothes so often. One is not rich.

So recently I went from an all-foot job to receptionist. I used to work 4 days/week, 10 hour shifts, mostly on my feet sorting things and stacking bins.

Now that I sit on my bottom, I'm trying to eat less. It hasn't been as hard as I thought, because...

A.
When you hate your job, eating becomes a sort of reward for being there. Now that I'm happy, I'm not thinking about food as much.

B.
When you hate your job your day goes SLOWLY. (Or maybe: When your day goes slow, you hate your job?) So taking breaks becomes this all-important, critically timed activity. And then see A: Sitting down to eat something and read the cartoons in the reward for surviving the sound of your brain cells dying.

C.
At my old job I worked alone, so there was no one to judge me. And I was next to a grocery store. And I rarely made lunches, cause I was so tired after work, and so unhappy, that I didn't like to cook. All this means I would: Go to the grocery store, buy Eg. egg salad and crusty bread, maybe some mini package cookies, some apples -- then sit and nosh.

At my new job I'm in a break room, and there's usually other people eating. So there is a sort of Public Gaze. Plus French people tend to eat nutritiously--I mean, they're eating Grain + Veggie + Meat dish. Or hearty salad. So when I don't see anything to eat at home and just bring in a couple avocados and a yogurt, or just bring in a thing of rice, I will get the "Is that all your eating?" question.

There isn't necessarily judgment in a mean way. But The Public Gaze. Which is great, really. It's very helpful. But even when I'm on break alone, I find myself satiated with half a granola bar. Amazing the effect of happiness on the mind.

So there you go. I didn't gain weight when I was at the donation center; but I also don't want to gain weight now. One can only buy new clothes so often. One is not rich.

Boy the fun you miss when you're not on your twitter!

Pink Martini has been Pink Martini-ized!

I like twitter, but I don't actively use it. I have things that auto-post, mostly. But I love it when news stories integrate stuff from twitter.

Anyway, was on just now and noticed this...

Pink Martini is a little gem!

Somewhere on the drive home Yoda decided he needed new adventures and left me. But seeing how photogenic she is, I think I'll take Pink Martini on my future travels. (You can either have a selfie stick, or you can take photos of stuffed animals. The choice is so obvious duh.)

My fave "Gay Marriage Day" story

Came across an article that I like more than I can say: An Evangelical Pastor at His First Pride Parade

This Pastor Phillips and his wife started a new church and one year later were kicked out from the parent church because of LGBQT inclusion. He moseyed out to his first pride parade, and a friend handed him a sign to carry: "As a Christian I AM SORRY for the narrow-minded, judgmental, deceptive, manipulative actions of those who denied rights & equality to so many in the name of God."

In his old church no one dared such open declarations, for fear of attack and ostracizing. But he gulped and made the Brene Brown Vulnerable Choice and was massively rewarded. Not just because people cheered and thanked him and wiped away tears; but because that sign opened him up to his fellow human beings.

"I couldn't handle the acceptance. I couldn't handle the forgiveness. I couldn't handle the small glimpses I witnessed of healing unfathomably deep hurts."

"I have affirmed the full inclusion of LGBTQ folks at all levels of the church. But I did not realize is the full potential of what might happen if LGBTQ folks were not just included (as they are beginning to be in so many churches), but helping us co-create better communities of faith and practice.... Inclusion is not enough. What I learned yesterday is that if we truly welcome and include, we will be changed. We will be transformed. Because that's what happens when people are vulnerable enough to step out in faith, show up and share with one another. And have conversations. And take photos with each other. And ask for forgiveness. And build bridges. And seek healing."

When I read that, the words "changed" and "transformed" put this bit of Handel (Corinthians) in my head:

Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet."

Accepting LGBQT people had already (to use the metaphor) awoken Pastor Phillips. But the conversations and tears and hugs and photographs transformed him. What better example can you have of the power of vulnerability and empathy? You won't just help others, but your very nature will be changed.

To have God or Jesus in your life you don't need to "accept Jesus as your personal savior." You go out and love people. That's it that's all. The Bible says "God is love." By that logic, the very nature of God is love. So whether you believe in a god or not, love lets in life, the universe and everything.

That's my general take-away from this. But for Christians, my take-away is: Step out on faith and try on one of these supposedly verboten beliefs. The Bible says don't conform to this world, but "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Most Christians probably think accepting gay marriage is conforming to the world; but as the world already rejects gay marriage, I'd say it's the other way around. Let in new ideas. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

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more good stuff

darn good song