Good ole Janelle

(Who's this Miguel? Same guy who dueted on that Mariah Carey I posted.)

The Story of Haley the Cat (as told by She Who Must Be Obeyed)

This is one of my fave posts from my old blog. Haley's story about how she murdered the previous cats in our household. (Transcribed by me when our old cat Sherry was dying.)

***

Once upon a time there was a beautiful cat named Haley and she lived in a one-cat household, and she was...

Due to the weak and despicable nature of her original servants, she was brought to a shelter, and went to from being the ruler of all she surveyed, to being a number. A number!

I am that cat, and this is my story.

At the shelter I was forced to unleash my Great and Terrible powers*

[*update: powers my dad has now experienced]
 

and was successfully released to a smaller shelter where I had to live with...

the wild things.

 

With much persuading, and by my innate photogenic qualities

I was passed on to an unwitting foster lady.

This was not my end goal, however. There was a disgusting number of dogs and cats in this house.

When lady's daughter came to visit, I sensed in her a cat-only lover, and this time unleashed my Awesome Power to Charm. ("Ooh I'm defenseless! Get me out of here!")

Needless to say this fool talked her foolish mate into adopting me, and flew me thousands of miles to her home.

Her SMALL home. Where there were already TWO OTHER CATS.

Well.

This could not be. There can only be One Cat to Rule Them All:

I tried unleashing My Great and Terrible powers and demanded they get rid of the other cats or find me a better home. But the two idiots *loved* and *accepted me as I was.* So I tried unleashing my Awesome Power to Charm. The idiots thought this meant I was finally settling in.

I drove the Striped One to pee EVERYWHERE.

But still they would not get rid of him. I picked the most EVIL BATTLES with the White One. Still no response except to incarcerate me more and more in a small room.

I bided my time. I deigned to play with the Striped One and flattered him by asking him to teach me how to jump and catch moths. Soon I learned what I needed to know--he had a weak heart. It was nothing to replace his heart medication with sugar pills, and after much patience the Striped One was gone. I did miss him a little, for even the heir to the universe likes a playmate, but he was too loved by the idiots. He could not stay.

Since October I have been able to focus all my powers on the elusive White One. The one with the power, the... Top Cat.

How I chafed and fumed under his reign of terror--the way he took the best nap spots, and beat me when playing with the cat dancer toy. But I turned those games against him by irradiating his cat dancer, leading to a final diagnosis of cancer.

Who's dancing now biatch!

Soon, very soon, it will all be over.

I shall finally move from being...

Princess of Quite A Lot

to

Queen of Everything.

White Cat, you were a worthy foe.

...but there's a new sheriff in town.

I'm a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, Gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

(I'd say "see you in heaven" ...but we all know I'll be somewhere warmer.)

My writing identity crisis

Last November was the first time I didn't finish Nanowrimo, and marked the beginning of my hard core, instense writer's block. So the question is... do I dive into Nanowrimo this year? Attempt to get my mojo back?

For now I've completely put it aside--the plotting, the writing attempts, the worry--and I'm just crocheting Christmas presents instead. Maybe if I get them done by end of October.

Maybe if I tell everyone at work, and tell them to pressure me. They're a supportive gang. Today my boss said he's thinking of how to break my legs so I can't leave in the spring. Nothing says love like broken legs. 

"What you just said sounded like Yoda took acid and stumbled into a business meeting. "

Yesterday I watched the movie Jeff Who Lives at Home. Ooh I just loved it! And exactly as this reviewer said:

The movie creeps up on you, and it's not until its firecracker ending that you realize just how much it made you care about these people.

July 2, 2013 Full Review

 

Will Leitch

Deadspin

 

It's on Netflix, and maybe at your library!

I won't post the trailer cause it reveals too much. Instead here's a clip. A clip that's only revealing the second time around (I realize as I post this. So awesome!)

 

Wake me up when it's all over

Heard this in a movie or TV show... don't remember which.

Strutting and fretting my time upon this stage

Did I mention I'm moving back to Montreal in June? I want to drive back so I can keep a car, and to bring some things back with me. I could get a car in Montreal, but "island cars" are in excellent shape--cars in snowy cities get full of rust and damage from the salt. And then there are my treasures! Not all, but some. I'm even thinking of getting a hatchback instead, since that's what I wanted in the first place and I can carry more.

I don't want to drive through the Rockies in winter... or the Prairies for that matter... or any province for that matter. So that means either leaving now or next May or June. Now feels a bit soon. And finally, Fernando gets vacation time again next April--if we can afford it, it'd be fun for him to fly out, see my town, and drive back together.

But it feels like it's going to be a long 9 months, for him too. Hapoo. People keep saying it'll pass fast, but the phrase "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace..." keeps going through my head. The homesickness is crushing at times, though it's gotten better.

But I'm reminding myself it's time to haul out the old creative visualization. The one way in which I support "the law of attraction" is that it seems more happy-making to focus on a positive outcome than a negative one. This way, if the negative never comes to pass you didn't waste emotional energy worrying; and if it does, well, at least you were content in the meantime. In situations where you have no control (the passage of time) it doesn't help to keep up the lamentations. And at least I have a cat with me!

So I'm going to banish Shakespeare, replace him with some other poet. Herrick maybe? Time is still a flying? There must be something better.

From now on I say:It'll pass fast! Already the countdown timer says 8 months and 12 days.

And besides, as Madame Miroir pointed out, 9 months is a good time frame, as far as New Things are concerned.

 

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Appearances Matter

Just watched the movie 42, about Jackie Robinson's beginning in baseball. One of the (very obvious, but that's ok) themes is the effect this has on children, seeing what the people around them are doing. The effect on both black and white kids at seeing the first black ball player; kids seeing Robinson called a n****r etc. I's not a heavy deep idea--that racism, and anti-racism are passed to children--but it's one of those ideas that's so important it bears repeating and repeating.

"Political correctness" is sometimes critiqued because though it restricts people socially it doesn't change them inside. But children are taking in what they hear around them, and if they don't hear hatred, there's less chance they'll hate too. Appearances matter.

In grad school I knew someone who was studying the effects on young women of seeing women politicians on TV etc. And apparently it makes a real difference, it affects what girls want to grow up to be.

In the Buffy series finale (spoiler) to fight off the Nosferatu-on-steroids army...

she finds a way to transmit her slayer strengths to all the Slayers in Waiting around the planet--which normally happens only when the slayer dies, and to one girl. Not only does this give the potential girls around her power, but we flash to scenes all over the world of shy or abused girls suddenly filled with slayertude.

 

That's what I imagine it's like when you're a child and you see for the first time that women can also be ass-kickers, or astronauts or pirates. I loved Charlie's Angels and Wonder Woman and Angelic Huston in Ice Pirates, and Marion Ravenwood, and Princess Leia. They widened for me the possibilities of what women can be.

You can't underestimate the effect Jackie Robinson had on society, just by showing up. It was a good sub theme.

 

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kitties on parade!

As one commenter said: The world wouldn't be the same without Japanese people.

Most depressing news stories...

In Canada this week.

 

At two universities, it came to light that students at certain frosh activities were chanting:

Y is for your sister, O is for oh so tight, U is for under age, N is for no consent, G is for go to jail,”

And a lot of the chanters were girls. Which doesn't surprise me, though I hope they don't find out the hard way how unfunny it is, and why many people are saying the frosh leaders should be expelled and not just given sensitivity training.

 

In other news, Quebec's reigning party--though thankfully not a majority--is tabling a secularism bill, a "Charter of Values", that wouldn't allow government employees to wear "ostentatious" religious symbols. (The top row ones are ok, the bottom are not.)

Considering that few people wear giant crosses, outside of nuns and Goths, it's pretty clear this is less about secularism than it is about protecting white Quebeckers from The Other. (We have a large orthodox Jewish population in Quebec--I think they're the collateral damage in this.)

Beyond that, I agree with those pundits who say it's really about politics. the Parti Quebecois hasn't been able to get people going on separation or language, so they're looking for an issue that'll get support, and set them apart as Quebec's true party. And if the federal government issues a challenge, based on the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, all the better. "You see? We are a distinct society!" Which would be the final irony since so many RestofCanaders agree with Marois on this one.

Big sigh. It's such a lot of bullshit.

 

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Fishy fishy fishy in the crochet sea!

I've been making cotton dishcloths. Good way to practice, and then have a practical use.

Here's a fish one. It was really easy. (And it's a darker orange than in the pic.)

 

Think I should just give up writing and crochet instead?

Evil Minion (cat cat cat!)

The finger has been rediscovered.