In week 4 of my new receptionist job. Second week on my own. I never talked about my old job much, the book chain for 15 years--just as internet safety. But the strange thing about an all French speaking company is that my job is somewhat in a different world. I have two fb friends, one who no longer works there, one who's my "work spouse." Neither work at the head office.
Not that I plan to air dirty laundry and such. But it's a nice separation.
My brain has adjusted to the French. The first week I felt language fatigue, but week two it was gone. I did all my high school in French, so struggling through a French environment isn't unnatural to me. Just been awhile.
I'm unhappy with many aspects of my French, but today I had a happy thought. Eventually my basic work will be routine and eventually boring--the repetitive parts. But as long as my French needs improving, a part of me will feel challenged. Instead of feeling anxiety imposter syndrom, I'm going to look on the French as the really rewarding part of my job.
You get imposter syndrom, right? Every moment I'm afraid I'll be found out as a fraud and fired for my verb tense mistakes. Even though no one I work with has shown the least concern.
4 comments:
I always think in terms of me. Like, what in this experience of hers reminds me of anything that has happened to me. I'm 58 years old. Usually there is something. Here I have absolutely nothing that compares.
The only thing I can say is - I wish you well in your new position.
lol Thanks!
This feeling of "impostership" and imcompetence seems to be very common. I know I used to get attacks of it frequently while driving to work or knowing that my flight simulator tests were coming up. (Ack! I can't remember any of the myriad of emergency drills and memorized stuff I'm supposed to know... arrrggh... ) But once up close and in the milleiu (?sp) it all comes back. Must be a sort of situational memory-trigger thing.
But in all sorts of situations I will routinely feel inadequate attacks. And I know others do to. A favorite writer referred to the intense feeling that as he pressed on towards that last 10 percent of a project, he'll get the overwhelming sensation that "it's all crap!" I've wasted all my time on this!!...
I don't know that there is any magic solution except: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK!
lol That's pretty good advice really.
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