"Our life evokes our character. You find out more about yourself as you go on. That's why it's good to be able to put yourself in situations that will evoke your higher nature rather than your lower. 'Lead us not into temptation.'" Joseph Campbell
Creepy Thrift Donation of the Day... precious children candle. About as big as your hand. I think the boy is picking nits from the girl's hair. Maybe lice.
Song of the Day:
Katie got a list of times
Now that she's really gone, gone
It's always one like flies
Telling now we weren't clarified
Till we snuck out that night
Rolled a Chrysler down drive
But once we were inside
Couldn't figure out where we were off to
That was before we had made
Some terrible mistakes
That's just teenage talk
I don't think the past is better, better
Just 'cause it's cased in glass
Protecting us from our now and later
How do you see me now
Now that I'm a little bit older, older?
And now remind my albatross
Smoldering on my shoulder, shoulder,
Shoulder, shoulder, shoulder
I done been through a whole lot
Trials and tribulations, but I know God
Satan wanna put me in a bow-tie
Praying that the holy water don't go dry, yeah yeah
As I look around me
So many motherfuckers wanna down me
But ain't no nigga never drown me
In front of a dirty double-mirror they found me
And I love myself
(The world is a ghetto with guns and picket signs)
I love myself
(But it can do what it want whenever it wants and I don't mind)
I love myself
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love myself
(One day at the time, sun gone shine)
Everybody looking at you crazy (Crazy)
What you gone do? (What you gone do?)
Lift up your head and keep moving (Keep moving)
Or let the paranoia haunt you? (Haunt you)
Peace to fashion police I wear my heart
On my sleeve let the runway start
You know the miserable do love company
Fuck do you want from me and my scars?
Everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence
How many times our potential was anonymous?
How many times the city making me promises?
So I promise this
And I love myself
(The world is a ghetto with guns and picket signs)
I love myself
(But it can do what it want whenever it wants and I don't mind)
I love myself
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love myself
(One day at the time, sun gone shine)
They wanna say there's a war outside and a bomb in the street
And a gun in the hood and a mob of police
And a rock on the corner and a line full of fiends
And a bottle full of lean and a model on a scheme, yup
These days of frustration keep y'all on tucking rotation
I duck these gold faces, post up fee-fi-fo-fum bases
Dreams of realities peace
Blow steam in the face of the beast
The sky can fall down, the wind can cry now
The strong in me, I still smile
I love myself
(The world is a ghetto with guns and picket signs)
I love myself
(But it can do what it want whenever it wants and I don't mind)
I love myself
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love myself
(One day at the time, sun gone shine)
Walk my barefeet (Walk my barefeet)
Down, down valley peak (Down, down valley peak)
I keep my fee-fi-fo-fum (Fee-fi-fo-fum)
I keep my heart undone (My heart undone)
And I love myself
(The world is a ghetto with guns and picket signs)
I love myself
(But it can do what it want whenever it wants and I don't mind)
I love myself
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love myself
(One day at the time, sun gone shine)
I went to war last night
With an automatic weapon, don't nobody call a medic
I'mma do it 'til I get it right
I went to war last night
I've been dealing with depression ever since an adolescent
Duckin' every other blessin', l can never see the message
I can never take the lead, I can never bob and weave
For my nigga that be letting 'em alienate me
And the sound is moving in a meteor speed
From a 100 to a billion lay my body in the street
Keep my money in the ceiling let my mama know I'm free
Give my story to the children and the lesson they can read
And the glory to the feeling of all of y'all scenes
Seen enough, make a motherfucker scream, "I love myself!"
I lost my head, I must've misread what the good book said
Oh woes keep me, it's a jungle inside
Give myself again 'til the well runs dry
Lost in the cracks
Of the landslide
You saw me slipping on
My blind side
I'm feeling lost
Feeling tongue-tied
And now I'm frozen
In your headlights
Deep in the haze
Of your love high
I used to soar on
The live wire
I'm coming down
From your supply
And I don't know
If you can make right
[Chorus:]
I can't take it
From the day I saw
My heart start breaking
No one saved me
I can't take it
Can't believe I went and
Lost you baby
Earth keeps shaking
All around
Oh, you let me down
And I can't take it
From the day I saw
My heart start breaking
No one saved me
Shot through the cracks
Of the earthquake
My body's moving
Into retrograde
I'm feeling loose
Feeling untamed...
And you're the dynamite
In my chains
Deep in the trench
Of the crossfire
You shot me down
From the live wire
Tossed to the loss
In your love game
You beat me cheating
And now I can't play
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Hit the ground
Running up from you
Baby you know I don't want to
No I want you
But there's nothing
Left to say
Lost in the riddle you gave me
Caught in the middle
You played me;
See so plainly
But there's nothing left to say...
I should've known
I should've known
If I watched enough lip synch battles I think I could come up with a set of criteria upon which to Judgeth them.
Cause I think a lot of it is based on either (a) a man imitating a woman, or (b) a white person imitating a rapper. And there's something suspect about that. In the same way that we find it funny when a man dresses as a woman, or when a straight man imitates a "gay" man (that is to say, acts "effeminate.")
Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots. Cause it's OK to be a boy. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, cause you think that being a girl is degrading." (movie Cement Garden... and the beginning of a Madonna song)
So I think good lip sync has to find a way to be funny beyond such things. Eg. Levitt's lip sync of "Tiny Dancer" is hilarious because of the overacting he puts into it.
Not that you shouldn't lip sync a rap, or a woman. Some raps are really fast and complicated, so they're impressive if you can imitate them well. And Paul Rudd's Tina Turner is swish-free.
When I watched Scrooge this past Christmas, I was alarmed to realize... this is my job! These kids at the rag-and-bone shop, picking through the piles of crap! Oh my days. When you realize you're living a Charles Dickens novel, it's time to find a new job.
Pretty sure I'd get more writing done if I could take my laptop into the tub with me.
Clearly we still have quite a ways to go in the Wonderful World of Computing.
_____
Song of the now: Love the contrast between the verses and the chorus.
I’ve been running from it all my lifetime
There’s nothing wrong with you, I’m searching for my right mind
Oh, you should’ve seen it they were resting on the restless
This happened, literally - woke up I was headless
I woke up I was headless
[Chorus:]
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more
Ima make a Ima make a bad wolf Ima Ima bad wolf Ima make a bad wolf Ima Ima
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more
You’re all still here
Motherfucker I’ll be back from the dead soon
I’ll be watching from the center of the hollow moon
Oh, oh my God I think I might’ve made a mistake
Waiting patiently was waiting taking up space
We are waiting taking up space
[Chorus]
The earth below is above my feet when the clock is laughing at me
When copy cats and the lazy brats are the last thing I want to see
No, my enemy is a friend of mine in a friendly place to be seen
Hey, you know I'll run away for a couple years just to prove I’ve never been free
They will never find me here [x4]
Yeah
Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more [x8]
It occurred to me that I should be sharing some of the beauteeous items that pass through the thrift donation center where I work.
Nothing says Joe de Vivre than a sobbing clown head mounted on wood-effect ceramic.
Which is why I sent the pic to my dad for his birthday. ...Well he's lucky he doesn't live here, cause then I'd have had to buy it for him. I think he can count this as a lucky escape.
I'm pretty sure even the Bible says you can hate your parents if this is where they live:
_______
Song of the Day
Wide-eyed with a heart made full of fright
Your eyes follow like tracers in the night
And the tightrope that you wander everytime
You have been weighed, you have been found wanting
Been wondering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanton ways
I want to learn to love in kind
‘Cause You were all I ever longed for
Sheltered, you better keep the wolf back from the door
He wanders ever closer every night
And how he waits begging for blood
I promised you everything would be fine
Been wondering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanton ways
I want to learn to love in kind
‘Cause You were all I ever longed for
Hold my gaze love, you know I want to let it go
We will stare down at the wonder of it all
And I-I will hold you in it and I-I will hold you in it
Been wondering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanton ways
I want to look you in the eye
‘Cause You were all I ever longed for
Been wondering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanton ways
I want to learn to love in kind
‘Cause You were all I ever longed for
Wide eyed, with a heart made full of fright
Your eyes follow like traces in the night
And the tightrope, that you wander every time
You have been wait you have been found wanting
[Hook]
You've been wandering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanting ways
I want to learn to love and kind
Cause you were all I ever longed for
Shelter, you better keep the wolf back from the door
He wanders ever closer every night
And how he waits, baying for blood
I promised you everything would be fine
[Hook]
You've been wandering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanting ways
I want to learn to love and kind
Cause you were all I ever longed for
Oh my gaze, love you know I want to let it go
We will stand out at the wonder of it all
And I will hold you in
And I will hold you in
You've been wandering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanting ways
I want to look you in the eye
Cause you were all I ever longed for
[Hook]
You've been wandering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanting ways
I want to learn to love and kind
Cause you were all I ever longed for
Once when I was younger... a teen? My older brother, dad and I went to see a movie. And when the lights went out my dad said: "Oh no! Mother told me this would happen."
We thought that was hilarious. Well it was was, actually. But I wonder if I remember it because it was like... a threshold moment. Where you realize your father is father is funny, in a grown-up way. I mean, I'm sure we thought he was funny all the time as kids, but that's an easy funny. This was perhaps the moment where we went: oooh he actually IS funny.
_____
Song of the Day
I love you I hate you
I'm on the fence it all depends whether I'm up I'm down I'm on the mend
trendsetting on reality I like you despise you admire you what are we
gonna do when everything all falls through I must confess I've made a
mess of what should be a small success but I digress at least I've tried
my very best I guess this that the other why even bother it wont be
with me on my death bed but ill still be in your head
put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint
you tell me I'm exceptional and I promise to exploit you
give me all your money and I'll make some origami honey
I think you're a joke but I don't find you very funny
my internal monologue is saturated analog it's scratched and drifting
I've become attached to the idea it's all a shifting dream bittersweet
philosophy I've got no idea how I even got here I'm resentful I'm having
an existential time crisis what bliss daylight savings wont fix this
mess under worked and oversexed I must express my disinterest the rats
are back inside my head what would Freud've said
put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint
you tell me I'm exceptional and I promise to exploit you
give me all your money and I'll make some origami honey
I think you're a joke but I don't find you very funny
I want to wash out my head with turpentine cyanide I dislike this
internal diatribe when I try to catch your eye I hate seeing you crying
in the kitchen I don't know why it makes me like this when you're not
even mine to consider erroneous harmonious I'm hardly sanctimonious
dirty clothes I suppose we all outgrow ourselves I'm a fake I'm a phony
I'm awake I'm alone I'm homely I'm a Scorpio
put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint
you tell me I'm exceptional and I promise to exploit you
give me all your money and I'll make some origami honey
I think you're a joke but I don't find you very funny
put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint
you tell me I'm exceptional and I promise to exploit you
give me all your money and I'll make some origami honey
I think you're a joke but I don't find you very funny
I've mentioned before that I'm thinking a lot about what balance to strike between emotion/seriousness and humor. Reading an interview with Daniel Levy, the co-creator and best character in Schitt's Creek [In Canada, if you want to check it out; in the US] made me think about it again. When asked about the success of the show...
We
set out to create strong, funny characters that were grounded in
reality and I believe we've found an amazing cast to bring those
characters to life. ... We didn't want to shy away from embracing the occasional emotional
beat and I think that's helped set the show apart from other comedies
out there.
"Emotional beat." I like that. I think Connie Willis is good at adding emotion to her comedy, and so is Pratchett--especially towards his last books.
First off, I have to say that I simply hate it when reviewers call my work
"wacky" or "zany". Those people are going to be hunted down by the Mafia! Seriously, I suppose around the fifth or six Discworld book, I discovered
the joy of plot. I think it was Esther Friesner
who said you have to have tragic relief. If a book is nothing but funny,
then it is nothing but funny. There is no contrast and it's hard to take anything
seriously. It's hard to worry about the fate of a character. (Pratchett in interview)
"Tragic relief." Awesome.
"He's got better and better over the years – he now follows the story,
not the jokes, while I think the early books followed the jokes." (Gaiman on Pratchett)
And here's rom com writer Jennifer Crusie on a similar theme:
"...if there was one thing I’d learned in my creative writing classes it
was to avoid melodrama, to never be sentimental, to go for irony and
detachment whenever possible because otherwise I’d get killed in the
critiques. But I think I knew all along I was wimping out, that if I’d
had any backbone, I’d have gone first for the hearts and not the brains
of my readers, so I decided that for my first book for Bantam, I’d try
something new, something different. Hearts would be touched, tears
would be shed. By God, I was going to be emotional.
...the important thing I
learned is that tragedy is like comedy. You can’t add it to a book, you
have to find both the humor and the pain within the story and then
write both as truthfully as you can" (Talking about The Cinderella Deal)
So. I feel like life is slowly on the uptick. Here's the (veggie)beef.
* I started going to therapy--frankly because Fernando wanted me to. But that's cool, I think therapy can be good for anyone, if you like your therapist. I think she's lovely. She's very empathetic, but also very professional. And laughs a lot. So far she's just gotten background info from me, so talking about my childhood and family and such. Which has only reinforced in my mind that I had a good childhood for the most part, and love my family a ton.
* I had one job interview a few weeks back, through a friend. I have another one next week--a second interview, actually. Spring's coming which means my job is going to go crazy soon (taking in donated goods during spring cleaning / moving season. You can imagine.)
* And I finally figured out the plot of my novella!
A lot of TV shows are ending, which either means time to pick up some new(old) ones, or time to watch less TV and work on my book. ;-) ...Or clean my home. >:-(
And overall winter is lifting, and my spirits have lifted along with it. And I love the symbolism inherent in spring--life after death, renewing ourselves.
"People are like flowers, they blossom in the sun."
- Jane Siberry
___
Song of the Day: My friends Vidal and Onthatmidnightstreet are having a baby. And some of the reactions they've been having reminded me of this song from Carousel. (And who knew the cutie from Foyle's War and Downton Abbey could sing!)
