Opération Quest: Picturing My Future

The vision board is finally done.

Last March I decided to do a collage about moi, and dug up Martha Beck's article on creating a vision board. I picked out tons of pictures--too many, cause that's overkeenerperfectionista moi--but stashed them into a file folder and didn't do the board itself.

The point of the board is to pick out things that really speak to you / make you excited / happy, even if you don't know why. Things from the heart, not the traditional Beach and Limosine "law of attraction" type of collage.

Glue 'em up, then put it away. When you next pull it up you may find some things have come true. You make a new board, or pull off the pics that came true, and put up new pictures, etc.

Since I chose my pictures over a year ago, I went through them again and just pulled out the words and images that still spoke to me. And the ones that seemed like they'd already come true, I put aside.

My board is a poster board, folded in half to fit in my suitcase. On the front I put the Done things...

• Pics from article on Prince related fashion = went to two Prince concerts, first ever
• lady going on a trip = my trip to Nanaimo
• Tea and fuzzy socks = all I did in Nanaimo, recovering my spirit (after all tea is the great cure all on Brit tv, right? I drank waaay more than usual )
• Bird scissors flying away / "escape winter" words = my decision to move to Nanaimo for awhile
• book case = my 40 Nanaimo books!
• Nadine Gordimer = don't know why I picked it, but I guess it stuck in my brain cause on Nanaimo I was in a second hand book store and suddenly thought I'd like a Nadine Gordimer book. One of the books to read this year, apart from the 40.
• black cat = that's a funny one, I mean I already have cats. All I can say is...

...the cat reminds me of this:

This is Swiss Girl's porch kitty, who has his own tupperware home in the back yard. He likes to sit in the window and stare like a freak. Even after he's eaten softies.

Below is a different occasion. It's like being in a horror movie.

Anyway, here are the new visions... I was placing them in too meaningful a left brain manner, and Haley kept jumping up and scattering them. She got all hand monstery and wouldn't stop attacking me and the collage.

This was the prelude, she got much meaner.

So I scooped up the pics, shuffled them, and just laid them out in terms of what fit. And added the words at random too.

I tried not to pick out literal goals. Like, I'm not planning to take up yoga. I just chose pics that soothed me, like the green fiddleheads and herbs, or made me happy like the Muppets and the green tiffin.

I think the lamb in the party hat might be me.

Oh you can't see the croquet ladies very well! I'm terrible at all sports, but my brother and I have had a romanticized view of croquet since reading Harpo Marx's autobiography. The Algonquiners took it very seriously.

You can read the Martha Beck article here.

My summary here.

Added tips here.

Apparently I'm on a mystical quest

Today I realized...

* It was exactly one year ago that I made a conscious decision to explore my Inner New Agey. To try being more mystical.

* In July 2011 that I read the first book that really helped me turn a corner (Hold Me Tight). The first time, after nonstop reliance on my oracle cards, after much internet perusing and reading forums and sites that were less than helpful--it was the first time I read something that 100% spoke to me, that gave me new ideas, and gave me a serious paradigm shift towards the world. A book I added to my Core Values Library.

* In August 2011 I read another piece of the puzzle: Dr Jill Bolte-Taylor's book (My Stroke of Insight) about what the right side of our brains do for us. It was the science side of the mystical stuff. I had taken a leap of faith into mysticism, and as in the fourth Indiana Jones movie, a platform was right there for me to step on.

* In March 2011 I read another holy-crap book (Mindsight). It was another plank under the mysticism, and another book that gave me a concrete understanding of my situation and how it can change.

* And finally this month I was cataloging my books and cleaning up, and came across a book I bought a couple years ago but hadn't read (Steering by Starlight). Sitting on my bed I randomly opened it up to the last chapter and read it, and decided I had to read it right now. When I started my Mystic Quest, it wasn't for the purpose of aiding my personal issues. But it's where the solutions lie. Like I was already taking the prescription, before I'd even experienced all the symptoms, and before I'd been diagnosed with the disease.

So it's exactly one year since I decided to broaden this part of me, and I feel like I have all the basic building blocks to do it. It's like what the Storywonk people would call the Discovery and Magic stages of writing a novel--gathering ideas, research, images, ideas, and inspiration. And now it's time to write the book.

I'm going to look for the blog posts this past year that deal with My Quest for My Inner New Ageo, and put up a link to them or something. And I'm going to try to keep sharing. We'll see what comes of it all.

Coming up: Martha Beck's method for dream interpretation. It's rather cool.

In the meantime, here's her book if you're interested. (No ebook yet available.)

Steering by Starlight from abebooks: $1 before shipping

...bargain book from Indigo: hard cover for $8

...used audio book: $12

...downloadable audio: $24
   

Catsitting Report #5

Went out to store even though it was damned chilly today.

Bought junk food.

Ate, felt sick, ate, felt sick, ate, felt sick and so on.

Got Meow Mix for porch kitties, but still doled out some softies.

JR is sleeping next to me. We've been watching his namesake in the Dallas movies. My friend--as you might have guessed from the cat names--has all the Dallas seasons. The movies were truly execrable, we watched them on fast forward. (Cause all we really want to see are JR and Sue Ellen right?)

I've finally got my laptop plugged in, to the router in the basement. I've enjoyed my mostly internet-break this week, but it's time to catch up.

Been fighting off impending-leaving-my-fambly depression all week. Used meditation--I would meditate until the sick feeling left my stomach. I don't think it will work for the junk food.

Continued reading the Martha Beck book. Edited a novella.

Friend comes home Sunday, so tomorrow evening I'll head home. Leave indoor and outdoor kittehs a stack of niblets.
  

Catsitting Report 4: ...supplies... running... low...

Sitting with JR on my lap, half watching Daily Show.

I'm so used to being without my own computer plugged in... I'm kind of liking it.

Not that I'm doing anything amazing rather than internetting. Just watching a lot of reality TV.  Some Hoarders, that Duck one, the New Jersey Medium (she's my fave)...  So I'm not doing something valuable with my time. I think I'm enjoying the complete lack of brain usage.

Since I don't have Oreos, my brain is seeking junk food elsewhere.

In porch kitty news... my friend's house has a sort of floor to ceiling window in the livingroom (which is why I like sitting up there!) and the blinds are always left open at the bottom so JR and Sue Ellen can look out.

But the porch kitties have taken to coming and STARING at me when they want food! I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

You see, I felt I was using up too much of my friends' crunchies, because I can't bear to let the bowl go empty. (I get sad if a kitty comes and there no food.) So I've been using the softies I brought, and those are BIG hit.

So it's not like I can fill the bowl and leave it for hours. Whoever's around eats whatever I put. So when the next porch kitty comes, the bowl is empty and he or she stares at me through the window.

The dark gray one (the one with the little house out back) really stares. Like, without blinking. And he comes for his girlfriend too. "I got my best gal here, so bring more snacks!!"

...I might have to finally hit the store tomorrow for Oreos and cheap food.

Lord I am a soft touch.

Okay JR's done with lap time, gotta go!
  
   

Catsitting Report 3: We're up one bath plug, but down several cookies

I'm back.

Network cable, alarm clock, ipad cable all in working order, but decided to skip the pillow. I'm making do with the less-than-flat one.

I also brought a plug for the tub so I can take baths.

Tinned food for the porch kitties--the kind Minion's allergic to that I still have sitting around.

More bread.

Random food that Fernando won't eat while I'm gone.

But on both the bus trips home and back again there wasn't enough time to hit the store between bus transfers, so I don't have more Oreos.

:-(

I've been having to fight off depression in re leaving my fambly again, so Oreos are an important supply. I feel like the Universe is taking care of me against my will. And I resent it.

Catsitting Report 2 - Tales from the frontier

Still haven't gone home.

Used the non-flat pillow last night.

Watched several porch kitties come and go for good eats, stocking up before the rain storm blew in. Saw the torty, the light gray, the dark gray, and the tabby. The light gray stared into the window at me, at one point, until I went to check and saw there was no food left.

Sue Ellen -- who is semi feral -- came on my lap for the first time last night! One paw... two paws... she got all four paws on me and stood there feeling very pleased with herself. Then jumped down.

Watching some very foolish tv. New fave show: Long Island Medium.

Bread done. Chips done. Almost out of Oreos, muligatawny soup and Pepsi. But there's still tea.

Speaking of which I left a tea in the microwave upstairs, better go before it turns nuclear strong.
   

17 years old in '69

Fave Music in 2011

"On n'est pas sérieux quand on a 17 ans" - Léo Ferré - Rimbaud's poem "Romance", set to music by one of the greats of la francophonie.
June night! Seventeen! - You let yourself get drunk.
The sap is champagne and goes straight to your head...
You are wandering; you feel a kiss on your lips
Which quivers there like something small and alive...


"69 année erotique" - Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin - You don't need to have a great voice (or a great accent) to make great French music. You just need to hold out the promise of sexual healin' bébé.

Visiting my niece and nephew, porch kitties, and basements

Just checkin' in. I'm catsitting at a friend's, and they don't have a network, and I forgot to bring my network cable. So just using her computer for a moment. She has a French keyboard with an English setting, plus it's a keyboard with a million choices on each button. So if I want to use, say, the question mark I have to get all Luke Skywalkery and become one with the keyboard and just type and not think. Then I hit the right keys.

I'll have to make a trip home at some point because I also forgot...

* My flat pillow - fat pillows give me a headache, and now even if they don't I'm just not used to them. Last night I folded up the bedsheet and used that. ...A little on the hard side.

* The charger for my ipad. Once I can't play Spider Solitaire anymore I know I'll go running back to my apartment.

Luckily I remembered softy food, which is what JR and Sue-Ellen expect of me. Especially Suzy, as she`s semi-feral. Softy food is the only reason she lets me pet her.

And now I have porch kitties like Judie! Except they`re all skittish, so I can`t hang with them. Just put their food out. I`ve seen a tortoiseshell (running away), an orange one (quick peek at me through the window and then AHHH! Run Away!!), and the dark gray one who has his own box in the backyard and hissed at me, but did stayed cause I had food. ...I wish I had a porch cam so I could watch them. I should add that it's my friend's sort-of-macho Italian husband who feeds the porch kitties, and who found out how to make a shelter for an outdoor cat, and constructed it, and works on making friends with his wee neighbor.

Does anyone else dislike hanging around in basements? I've deduced that it's the placement of the windows. Maewitch just finished her basement and made an adorable girl cave with lovely paint color, and there's a lot of light because the windows are bigger than usual basement windows--but I still can't imagine spending hours there (not as a visitor, but I mean if it was my home.) And I think it's because the windows aren't at eye level.

My parents have a three level home, and the bottom level is where their offices are. But it's mostly at ground level. You can see out the window if you're sitting. So I'm cool with that.

That's my test. Can I see out the window when sitting?

But I really think I'm the only person with this affliction.

As I live in an apartment on a second floor, it's not too hard an affliction to live with.

I have to go now cause I seem to have hit something that has made the apostrophe key turn into an accent aigue ` and I do not know what I did.
  

Nanaimo Island Reads: The final picks

Frak it I chose 40 books. But the good news is... Goodreads informs me I read 51 books last year. And 41 in 2010. And 18 so far. So 40 books is just right, cause I also have my ebooks, a couple books in Nanaimo, and anything else I can't resist this year.

Onto the 40, which you can find here.

First I arranged them alphabetically by title...

 

That was no help. Next I tried dark to light...

 

Okay, good to know I have an appropriate mix of weepies and laughs. Then I tried literary to genre...

 

A good mix. And most of the genre is top notch ("literary" if you will.) But all I managed to eliminate was four books...

• The Cairo Trilogy only for weight concerns--it's three books, wrapped in a quality hard cover.
• The Khadra just because it's not speaking to me at the moment.
• And the Martin because I don't want to read 5 books and then be on the hook for 10 years as I await the other. Ever notice how long it takes authors to get that last book out? (Looking at you Jean Auel.) Or they die and then their successors put the last book out in two volumes and that means more waiting (yes, you Robert Jordan.)
• [Forgot to photograph.] A Jennifer Crusie Harlequin, cause I already have unread books by her on my ereader.

And then I added three:

• The more I read of Wicked's themes, the better it sounded.
• I read the first pages of Still Alice and immediately wanted to keep going. (I did this with a couple books, which was a mistake! I want to read them now!)
• And I wanted Fall On Your Knees, or Mercy Among the Children. Knees sounded less crushingly depressing.

 

There are 40 books now.

Some fall in the "What's All the Fuss?" category.

• The Prey series
• The Quebec Stephen King
• Ruth Rendell as Barbara Vine--supposed to be better than Rendell as Rendell
• Pratchett
• Nobel winning Toni Morrison
• Nobel winning Pamuk
• Sarah Waters
• That damned Time Traveler
• That damned burnt guy
• And I added back in Slumdog cause I want to see the movie already! (Oops I guess I added back in 4)

Then there's the games winners:

• French Books Picked by Anglos
• Nonfiction Books Chosen by People Who Haven't Read Them
• Books Picked Blindly by Country (results here)
• Books Chosen Blindly by Bombastic Reviews, First Page Images, and Other Nonstory Text

The two chosen by fate:

 

Two I chose because they're among my husband's favorite novels:

• Margaret Laurence's Jest of God - I loved the TV movie of The Diviners, and then hated the movie of Stone Angel so I read the book and it was excellent. This one's about a lonely small town teacher, living with her passive aggressive mother, and her attempt to break out.
• The Name of the Wind I bought for Fernando because customers and a work friend said it was the best fantasy novel they'd read in years.

Books from fave authors:

• Heyer's Reluctant Widow--been so long I don't remember anything about it.
• Sharon Shinn's Mystic and Rider
• Jane Langton: I first read her because she was recommended by Connie Willis, and I can see why. There's always a subject (Monticello, the dodo, Emily Dickinson, Escher) to thematically work alongside the mystery. And I love the professor couple who are the regulars in the series.
• I read Stephanie Barron's Jane Austen mysteries almost until I started my degrees, and then fell behind. The tone of the books are a surprisingly good match for Austen.
• Alan Moore I lobes.
• Well I only read one AJ Jacobs, but really enjoyed it. And coming from a church that followed the Old Testament rather closely, I think I'll enjoy this one.
• Cathleen Schine: Loved The Evolution of Jane, The Love Letter, and Rameau's Niece. Hated She Is Me. Own-but-too-scared-to-attempt The New Yorkers and The Three Weissmanns. Time to get back on the horse.
• No romance novelists made it because I've got a bunch in my ereader.

And others I chose when cataloging:

• My Lucky Star - About a couple New York writers going out to Hollywood, compared to screwball comedies.  I opened and read a scene at random and it actually did sound like an old screwball.
• Indiscretion - Regency romance. All the reviews say this author (who's male) is more Georgette Heyer, less Amanda Quick.
• The Serial Killer's Club - About a guy who discovers the serial killers have a club--he infiltrates and then starts killing them. And it's comedy. Also recommended by ex-colleague Groom.
• Saga - Mentioned this before, about three people writing a mini-series for no one to watch.
• Ruth Rendell - Read Simisola years ago and loved the detective and his wife.
• Starfish - This is the one about the underwater station full of mentally damaged people.
• Hominids - And the one about the parallel Neanderthal world. Also recommended by SFF reading/writing Widdershins.

 

During this process, as I came across shorter books, I eliminated them by creating a To Be Read Before I Leave Town list.

• Harvey Pekar's Quitter - I've read most of his comics, they're so so so good.
• Vonnegut's Mother Night
• A tiny Tom Stoppard play
• Some random book I came across today
• An Agatha Christie I'd started months ago (I refuse to bring along books that are partly read. Taking up precious cargo weight limit!)
• Rumpole of the Bailey short stories that I'm half done. I'd been keeping them as insomnia stories, and they're super witty. But... goes against the rules.
• Barmy in Wonderland - Might still bring cause I like to save Wodehouse for my darkest moments and I'm not totally dark right now. But this is a hard cover, and a beautiful one at that--beautiful paper, beautiful typeface. My dad bought it for me and it's one of the finest books I own. Don't want it ruined!

 

Two I've already knocked off:

• D.A. - Short story by Connie Willis. Fernando bought me this limited edition at Worldcon. About a teenager recruited for a space program, who doesn't want to be there.
• Borderline - Though eliminated in the games, I really wanted to see the movie, so I had to read the book. The movie's been duly watched as well.

Phew. Well thanks for taking the journey with me. Will report back on the books.

Shocking Update!  I was just going through the "Read It" list of my old book catalog--We Reads--and realized I picked out the wrong Jane Austen mystery (I own almost all of them, though unread.) It will be Jane and the Ghosts of Netley.

Shockinger Update!  Apparently I already read Harvey Pekar's The Quitter, too.

     

The Penultimate Edition of : Nanaimo Island Reads! (If you need some book recs, check it out)

Thanks so much to those who participated in my goofy book choice games. I know it was a bit random, but if I were to ask people their favorite books, I could get one "I hated it!" for every "It changed my life!" And then I'd feel like I was choosing between people, rather than between books.

Also, some books simply get more publicity--there was a hit movie, it won a big American award, the author was on Oprah--so more people might have read them; yet they might not be "better" books.

Which doesn't mean you shouldn't plead a case for a book in here you've read. :-) Descriptions included as usual, in case your To Be Read pile hasn't already reached the ceiling.

Click on the book descriptions to go to the Goodreads page of each book...

Leave you babbling <-- Our winner, recommended to me by various ex-coworkers: Henry finds himself periodically displaced in time, pulled to moments of emotional gravity from his life, past and future. Henry and Clare's attempts to live normal lives are threatened by a force they can neither prevent nor control, making their passionate love story intensely moving and entirely unforgettable.

Hitchcockian <-- runner up, recommended to me by two ex-coworkers: a ghost story set at Hundreds hall following the story of the Ayres family as their home and society crumble around them on post war Britain.

Most romantic in years <-- Recommended by no one, but won the Pen Faulkner award.: It is a perfect evening until a band of terrorists breaks in, taking the entire party hostage. Friendship, compassion, and the chance for great love lead the characters to forget the real danger that has been set in motion and cannot be stopped.

Wrenching, soaring <-- Lost! Recommended eons ago by My Book Enabling Friend who owns more books than me, and has read more than me, especially good literature: The story of Sydney Henderson's family, as told by grown son Lyle, is about the price they all pay for Sydney's refusal to abandon his principles.

Mythic quality <-- Was a huge hit, even before Oprah recommended it. I think Enabling Friend recommended it, but also customers, and everyone says it has a SHOCKING ENDING. I've read two other Oprah picks, they were excellent.: Chronicling five generations of this eccentric clan, "Fall On Your Knees" follows four remarkable sisters whose lives are filled with driving ambition, inescapable family bonds, and forbidden love.

Obsession! Possession! <-- Impulse buy. Supposed to be a literary vampire novel.: a centuries-long quest to find the source of that darkness and wipe it out. It is a quest for the truth about Vlad the Impaler, the medieval ruler whose barbarous reign formed the basis of the legend of Dracula

Spun like Arabian Nights <-- A hit at one point (before the movie), and recommended by a very interesting ex-coworker.: Grenouille’s quest to make the finest perfume in the world–and in the process of doing so he kills twenty-five virgin girls.

Afraid to turn the pages <-- Other runner up. My mother reads a lot of thrillers, recommended the author years ago.: Rules of Prey introduces Lucas Davenport, the badass Minneapolis cop who plays by his own rules but gets the job done when no one else can.

Knockout ending <-- Well you've all heard of this one too, I'm sure. : the story of Alice's slow but inevitable loss of memory and connection with reality, told from her perspective. ...readers learn of the progression of Alice's disease through the reactions of others, as Alice does, so they feel what she feels -- a slowly building terror.

Weary sun rising - Clear winner! Well it's time I finally read a Pratchett.

Dam the flood of disaster - I feel I should read a Norton. "A ship is stranded on an uncharted planet, and notwithstanding the breakdown of disclipline of the mixed alien/human crew members, a shocking and fascinating discovery is made."

Monstrous dwarf Queen Victoria - Bwa ha ha! Recommended to me by a very widely read coworker back in the 90s: "i suppose it could be defined as a "psychological thriller" but its very jungian, steeped in metaphor and symbolism and eroticisim and mythology and shakespeare."

Communications panel - Once caught my eye when looking for sci fi to buy: "Miles is less than 4 ft tall and deformed with delicate bones that break at the slightest strain. He makes up for this physical deficiency by an enormous personality. He’s smart, quick-thinking, creative and cheeky."

As she smiled - Was looking for another sci fi humor author: "one man has discovered the hideous truth: that humanity's ascent to civilization has been ruthlessly guided by a small gang of devious frogs."

The chilling flicker of disillusion nudged like the first twinge of toothache, unexpected, unwelcome, an uneasy hint of possible trouble. - I gotta love this line. I have so been there. Anyway, Francis is on the list because he's considered one of the top mystery authors of all time, and I still haven't read him.

Sea horse penis! This is the nurse talking about her burned patient's body. I remember picking it up and reading a little when the movie was a huge hit, and thinking: There's gonna be some disappointed women buying this book. It is arty.

Shut off the wireless - What a beautiful quote! Beautifully bound book too, I wished I could show that to you guys. About the "impending horrors of the coming Nazi occupation in Europe" and the impact on a museum guard, and a regular.

To the memory of my father: The winner! Maybe you Americans instinctively sensed it's about a Canadian connection to the US Civil War. "A Canadian counter-intelligence novel with a memorable romance at its heart, The Halifax Connection brings to life 1860s Montreal and Halifax with wit, action and a finale that will leave you breathless."

To Mata Hari - Love that dedication. A spy on trial for being a Nazi war criminal. I've never read Vonnegut--seems like a good place to start.

A visitation - Like Twilight, this author was inspired by a dream of the character--in this case a hearing impaired female tailor. "It really tells the life of deaf woman... being excluded from conversations, the tiring practice of lip reading, and the feelings of hopelessness that accompany the affliction. I am a hearing impaired woman myself and I was shocked that someone out there understands." (goodreads reviewer)

Devil in the details - I'm torn about this one. On one hand there's this: " Already hailed as a classic, George R. R. Martin's stunning series is destined to stand as one of the great achievements of imaginative fiction." On the other hand, no one's explained to me why it's so stunning. Also, it's not finished yet.

Nattering about evil - That's exactly what the book is apparently about--the nature of evil, how someone becomes wicked. Intriguing!

Top Picks:


The Time Traveler's Wife
The Little Stranger
Rules of Prey
The Light Fantastic
The English Patient
The Halifax Connection
The Museum Guard


Pretty much any book that begins with "the". Tune in... later... for the thrilling conclusion!