Yesterday Skye wrote about the three reactions to danger: Fight, flight or freeze. And then said something that reminded me of the book Mindsight: "And the primitive part of my brain is very strong."
I think she's so right.
One of the chapters in Mindsight is about helping a newly-teen girl who was developing OCD, though this part of his advice that I'm about to mention would be helpful to just about anyone.
He told her that part of the brain developed over millions of years to keep us safe. He calls the system "the checker" and it scans for danger, alerts us, then motivates us to act.
He had her begin meditating, and learning to discern when an alert was being sounded, and to differentiate the checker part of her brain from the feeling of terror. Then he advised her that, when she felt it kicking into action, to say:
I've seen on some blogs where the idea is promoted to bitch-slap negative voices in our heads. Like, if we have a negative self talk (you're a failure, you'll never do this, etc) -- to tell that bitch to sit down and shut up. I've never been crazy about this idea, cause the thing is... that's still you talking. Why would you give yourself a smack down?
So I liked this next part where Siegel explains the thinking behind this bit of self dialogue:
Heh heh, I love that. This is a millions year old part of your brain, dedicated to the thing your body most wants--to survive. If you fight it, you'll lose. Just show some respect.
We all afraid of something here
Cause you ain't human without fear
7 comments:
Interesting approach. I'm lucky not to have had that type of internal monologue so far in my life, but it's good to understand it. If only a little.
I remember a therapist of mine ages ago telling me to have loving dialogues with those defense mechanisms I'd developed as a child that I no longer needed, that were in fact causing me problems as an adult.
There are ways I was undiagnosed for a long time and I still think that my OCD, which is self-diagnosed but which shows all the typical signs, is not taken seriously by my care providers. Or maybe they are just looking at it all as a big ball of anxiety and why bother differentiating because we'll just treat it all as anxiety.
It sometimes seems impossible to treat after all this time, but my care providers and the guy who wrote the book we are using don't think so. I guess I'm not the oldest patient they've treated for long-term anxiety, so there is hope.
I think I'll go have a talk with my checker.
Who am I to fight millions of years of evolution? Respect it is.
I believe in being gentle with our inner child. When we've suffered as youngsters it's good to speak with encouragement and love and tell ourselves that we are well. And we will continue to be well. It's good for us to reinforce that.
@Delia - Me too, I had very positive parents. But I'm trying out this technique on my escalator phobia! Will let y'all know if it works.
@Skye - One of the Mindsight dude's patient was in his 90s!! And he was able to help him. So I have hope for us all.
@JJJ - Ahh I knew my atheist buddies would understand. ;-)
@Robena - Agreed. :-)
fascinating. Thanks for sharing the info. Probably most days I would say I don't have much interior dialogue, but just yesterday I caught myself griping OUT LOUD to myself-- "You are such an idiot!"-- so I guess I can't really say that! :-)
I'm trying to stop saying "I'm so lazy..."
Post a Comment