I've got to admit it's getting better

This past winter, I remember walking out one day at the end of work, around 6 PM, and it was light outside for the first time. I mean, noticeably so. I felt a physical lifting inside me. A section of the low level depression I'd been feeling was just gone, as spring made its way in.

Sometimes you don't know how much the different elements of your life are getting you down, until one of them is changed. It was a weird feeling--and a bit of a relief to see how this one segment was so easily fixed.

Then, 5 weeks ago, I got my new job and--WHAM! Another chunk of depression fell off, like a crumbling Montreal overpass. And again, the difference was breathtaking. Bigger this time than the spring change.

So I've started to see my life in these discrete segments.

Obviously my marriage is one important one. I try not to talk about it too much on the blog, so I'll just say it's gotten better. We may stay together, we may not, but quality wise things are better. And when my happiness increases in other areas, it naturally affects the others. So the new job has helped A LOT.

This messy, disorganized home is another. I got a lot done on my vacation before my new job, and now work away at it in chunks. So I was feeling better. The warm August weather has sapped some energy, so I'm less satisfied... but things still happen. I finally hung up all the jewellery I'd bought in Nanaimo, and organized the rest. I cleaned out old writing papers (and read an amusing grade 7 essay.)

Since I can't do that much in the home, I've refocused on my writing--another important area. Not overly optimistic, but better than nothing. Oh, and I guess there are some areas I take for granted. The Friends & Family situation was always good. Different friends at different times, but always had supportive people around me.

When I was younger and I'd have a little depressed period, it would last 6 months, and then just sort of lift. But climbing out of a midlife crisis apparently requires some work, cause you become discontented with almost every area of your life! You're looking at everything in your life, taking stock, trying to redirect the course. There's a lot of deep thinking involved, a lot of confusion and what not. So it's not going to lift in a moment. But it's getting better all the time.