This is Ovaltine Jenkins

Don't have anything deep in me today, so I thought I'd share this clip from Psych. I'd never seen the show before watching it with my mother this week--I instantly found the characters charming, and it's my kind of humor. It's about a guy who pretends to be a psychic, but is really just very observant. ...The clip is a mashup of all the ways he's introduced his partner over the years. Dulé Hill's reactions are hilarious.

:-o staaaar waaaaars

No time to post! I have a fabulous Star Wars essay for you, it's almost done, but I really have to go to bed. I have a doctor's appointment at 1:00 today then I'm off to my sister-in-law's for supper. And then Thursday I have a meeting with my new employer. So my brain's all kerfuffly, my stomach's all nerve-uffly. I'll try to post my essay soon.

Over the years I've come up with a few Star Wars Essays. They're usually told verbally, though. I don't know I've ever blogged any of them. They are:

* Luke's real weakness, Lando's strength; and
* It had to be Ewoks

There might be another, I can't remember at the moment.

Anyway, here's some SW stuff I posted awhile back on my old blog. To keep the Warsians going in the meantime...










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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...Any time you pick up a walkie-talkie or two-way radio, the first thing you say is "TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...Whenever you went anywhere outside with your friends, you always walked single file, to hide your numbers.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...On Halloween, you would never dress as: Luke, Han Solo, Leia, Vader, Chewie, Threepio, Artoo. However, you would dress as: Wedge, Porkins  [I have a Porkins action figure. And there's a long story of how I acquired him.]


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...You have held up an onion ring and said, "Look sir...droids!"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...You answer the phone "Die wanna wanga?"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...You want appliances that speaks Bacchi.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...Whenever you catch sight of cars behind yours, you say "Fighters, coming in, point three five."
Someone else in your car says "What about that tower?"
[And don't forget my brother's fave: "I can't see him! I can't see him!"]

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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... Your significant other dumps you because everytime she/he says, "I love you" you always respond, "I know."
[Apparently Maewitch and her sig other say this and they're not SW fans!]

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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... You quote Yoda to defend your political beliefs.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a Saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...Someone asks you how fast your car is, and you reply, "Fast enough for you, old man!"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...Someone says they will try to do something you automatically respond "Do or do not. There is no try."


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... You have a bad feeling about everything.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... You believe John Williams is the best composer ever (which, of course, he is!)


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... While listening to the soundtrack without knowing the name of the song you are listening to, you know exactly what's happening while it's playing.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...You now want to become an astronaut to see if there really is a Lando system.
[Except you wouldn't. Because you would know that Lando is a man, not a system.]

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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... Yoda's little sayings have had a profound impact on your life, and you abide by them religiously.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... You've created lyrics to the songs in Star Wars.
[Or you just sing the Bill Murray version.]

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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... When riding your bike, you look behind you and accelerate wildly by pressing down on the petal with your right toe.


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You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When...You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Star Wars.


AND my own additions:

You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... you can imitate the sound of OB1 powering down the tractor beam. (Some guys in the store tested me on this one once.)

You Know You're Addicted to Star Wars When... everytime you finish the dishes (or any other chore) you call out "The dishes are away!" "Hooray!" (You also know you're Married to the Right Man when he joins in on the Hooray.) [We now do this for just about anything. "The [fill in the blank] is away! Hooray!"]

            

Merry Rewriting Shakespeare = Genius

Merry (one of the Betties) needs to rewrite ALL of Shakespeare! This (see below) is apparently what comes of commuting with Shakespeare's collected works. From her blog post here.

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Instead of a measly epilogue at the end of All's Well that Ends Well, we should have a version of Whack-a-Mole. The "hero" of the play would play the part of the mole, and all the other characters would take turns hitting him. Much more satisfying ending.

The Comedy of Errors is the Elizabethan equivalent of a cheap sitcom featuring two sets of identical twins "with hilarious results." I suggest it be re-written as a one-man play. Watching one poor actor trying to portray all those identical twins without going mad would be entertaining, in a twisted kind of way.

Titus Andronicus is Shakespeare's version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seems to me the least Will could've done was throw in an actual chainsaw and a Texan or two.

Entertaining Myself With My Taxes

I repaired to the office (bedroom) today to do The Taxes. I find it mildly enjoyable, if given time and space. Had plenty of both.

The felines were present for moral support.

  

I used Ufile first, cause I used to find it easier than Quicktax. But they were TOO simple and tried to make me declare thousands less to the Quebec government, which I don't think They would have appreciated.

Ufile was all...!! Woo!!

 

 "U file silly" I told it.

After some fiddling, and sending an email which still hasn't been answered, I tried out Turbotax.

I was immediately struck by THE CUTESINESS OF IT ALL!

 

And who wouldn't want to follow this wee roadmap??

 

If the Israelis and Palestinians were given this as a Roadmap to Peace, they'd make real headway. Who wouldn't be eager to get to step 2, step 3, step 4 5 and the FLAG! "Let's get this borders thing settled, boys, I want get to the picture of Jerusalem!"

Compared to Ufile:

  

Plus they had a screen in the corner that suspensefully increased and decreased with every question I answered and data I entered! Ohhh the drama of it all! (No this was not the final number. But the drama!!)

And let's not forget the window on the right where you could check in on everyone else's livetime agonies, and either laugh at their stupid questions, or get answers to your stupid questions.

 

I was able to enter the T4 and Relevé information accurately this time, and fiddle with my donations, and I understood the medical expenses better (I should have been keeping prescription bills all year, for the amounts not covered by insurance - frick!)

People often suggest I should hire someone, and I have done when Fernando or I had back years to catch up on. But with a couple simple T4s, it's really not worth it. It's gotten more and more expensive, whereas this cost me $30 for the two of us. If I had a business, or worked freelance etc., then I'd hire someone.

The other question to consider is how much my time is worth--my pay per hour. But I measure that against the self-esteem I gain from accomplishing the work, and the sense of confidence from better understanding my taxes, and what I need to be doing throughout the year to prepare for next year's. That's worth my time.

Of course, like many things in life, it's all a big LETDOWN when the other guy isn't there for you in the end. I tried to upload my files and both governments were all "We're, like, SLEEPING now? And you have until MAY 6 moron? So like come back at 7 AM like a real person. F**cking night owls."

 

 

I'm gonna go make cookiez.   :-)  Booyakasha.


Thanks to my dad for putting up with my breathtaking tax updates all night.