Confessions of an Uncommitmentphobe (plus a tip for Blogger bloggers & a good read by Anna Cowan)

1. For Blogger/Blogspot bloggers
2. What if heroes stopped eating bonbons and stepped it up?
3. Learning to not commit is oweee

1. FOR THOSE USING BLOGGER/BLOGSPOT
Did you guys notice that you can edit your images on the blog now?? I didn't know!! What the--!! In case you didn't either, you click on the picture then choose "Edit Image." MY DAYS. It's got effects, frames, stickers, everything--I've only started to explore, but it's a little buggy. This is why I haven't left Blogger yet, though. They always add something nice.


2. SOMETHING GOOD TO READ

I just found this Betty blog that I don't think is on the Betty RSS feed.

If you're a writer, or just interested in books and what makes for an interesting hero, then read this post! Très très intéressant! It's like someone freshened up the oil in my brain gears. Here's a taste:

What would a fantasy epic look like if the hero wasn’t “chosen” (i.e. got to have his epic destiny without any autonomy or responsibility)? What if some farm boy (because they always are farm boys, right?) looked around himself and decided to do something about what he saw; to act autonomously, and to be responsible for what he caused? The first thing that occurred to us was: They wouldn’t get away with nearly so much.

Then you can go and discuss! Well I did anyway. En masse. Cause you know that's how I rollz.


3. AND NOW SOME NEWS & PERSONAL CRAP

I was relieved to hear that Bonafide Betty is not ready for a June nano, because neither am I. We're doing July instead. So those of you who thought you might like to try for July - Mouah ha haaaa!!!

And I warned her that, because things in my personal life might get kooky this summer, I'm going to attempt... for the first time ever... Purposeful Undercommitment.

Looking at my messy apartment, my what-ev-ah meals, my home haircuts, my never-makeup, my wrinkled clothes, you wouldn't think I'm a perfectionist. (See below - the view from where I'm sitting, on my bed, in my bedroom/library/office. See the pile of clean laundry, sitting on the boxes of my grandfather's dissertation? One of my favorite Betty conversations was about how a bunch of us have slept on clean laundry before.)

Sadly I've learned that I am, in specific areas of my life. And one of them is that if I commit to something like a Nanowrimo, I WILL FINISH IT. Especially if I'm doing it as a partnership with someone.

But I'm reading a self-help book on procrastination, and it's teaching me that my perfectionism, and my over-commitment-ism, lead to my procrastination. I meet all my deadlines, I've never underperformed at work, I've NEVER turned in a late paper at school, but I work too many hours, I exhaust myself, I lose pull all-nighters, I exacerbate my headaches, and I hurt my personal life instead. So I've got to change.

And one step is to say (though it send shivers through my soul) when we attempt our Nano in July... I'm giving myself permission to "lose." To not complete my word count. I'm not even doing a "real" nano for heaven's sake, cause one of the rules is it can't be a re-write. Imperfectionism! That's got to be my credo.

You've got my four badges, they ought to be enough for heaven's sake. You've got nothing to "prove" Mabelline. And you can cheer on Bonafide and anyone else who joins, even if you make a decision to stop partway through. Hush hush it's going to be okay.

(Looking at these badges, anyone want to guess what year I went back to school and when I graduated? At least I'm not that bad of an overcommitter.)

 


I should add that I've improved in one way, which is no longer freaking out over posting on time on my blogs. Self head pat.

   

Someone clean up this mess in me!

Tammysstudio

Yael Naïm's "Far Far": Just listening to this song and the first line made me go "huh?": How can you stay outside? There's a beautiful mess inside.

Well. That's not what my parents told me. I had to go look up the lyrics (posted under the video). Here is where they led me...

The Last Step on the Hero's Journey: Once you get the dragon's gold, if you hoard it yourself, you become a dragon, and someone will have to slay you. (Anakin Skywalker = perfect example.) You have to bring that gold back to society and share it. Whatever we learn from our personal journeys is meant to be shared.

My take on the song: A girl prays for something wonderful to happen to her, not fully realizing that she already possesses all the raw ingredients (the beautiful mess) to make something amazing. Once she is finally made aware of it she learns that to bring the mess to full realization, to make it the "something big" she's always wanted to happen to her, she has to "give birth" to it. She has to create something with it, and share it. This song is the perfect description both of the creative process, and of the last step in the hero journey.

Naim ends with the Call to Adventure:

Just look at yourself now
deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess inside
beautiful mess inside

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there are colors and shapes
dazzle in her eyes, tickle in her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarel rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go oh oh

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside

Take a deep breath and dive
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess
beautiful mess inside

Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
she was praying for something big to happen to her
every night she hears beautiful strange music
it's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
but if it fades she begs
"oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it"

She says, "I guess i'll have to give it birth
to give it birth
i guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
i guess i have to, have to give it birth
there's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere

Just look at yourself now
deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess inside
beautiful mess inside

[lyrics from sweetslyrics.com]

Props to the maker of this video for the sheer diversity of the girls portrayed.


   

Childhood Potential: still up for grabs!

I was reading today about someone who was remembering what she was like as a child--cheerful, bright, creative--and how she hopes to get back to being that child. She wants to be Like Herself again, as reflected in the above song.

A worthy goal! :-D  We all feel that way sometimes (albeit this is someone who's had a very hard life and I tip my ten gallon hat to her.)

So today I want to post another of my favorite Joseph Campbell passages, for her. Because Campbell promises us that our Inner Toddler Goofball never goes away! Yay!

...the infantile unconscious. ...We carry it within ourselves forever. All the ogres and secret helpers of our nursery are there, all the magic of childhood. And more important, all the life-potentialities that we never managed to bring to adult realization, those other portions of ourself, are there; for such golden seeds do not die.

If only a portion of that lost totality could be dredged up into the light of day, we should experience a marvelous expansion of our powers, a vivid renewal of life. We should tower in stature. Moreover if we could dredge us something forgotten not only by our entire civilization, we should become indeed the boonbringer, the culture hero of the day--the personage of not only local but world historical moment.

In a word: the first work of the hero is to retreat from the world ...

 Here's my inner child. She's got a book and a cat. Big surprise eh?