Opération Quest: Here we go!

"With the personification of his destiny to guide and aid him, the hero goes forward in his adventure until he comes to the threshold guardian .... Beyond them is darkness, the unknown, and danger." Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces

So I've been getting ready to leave. Emotionally, I mean.

1 THE MEDITATION

While catsitting I was regularly overwhelmed by the grief of leaving my fambly--my husband and Haley and Minion. So I practiced meditating until the sick feeling in my stomach would subside. Mostly just calmly breathing and telling myself over and over: This moment is perfect, this is how my life is supposed to be rit now, in this second. This moment is perfect. (It really worked. Took about 10 minutes each time.)

2 THE BIG CRY

When my beloved childhood cat had to be put down, I waited until I was alone ti have my big cry. I put on a song from The Rescuers that embodied my love for him* and had the Big Ugly Cry.

So I did this yesterday with my Leaving. When I was in Nanaimo and packing to leave my dad kept jollily singing "Leaving in a Jet Plane" and getting it in my head, and making my monkey crazy! Cause the song is so sad! He sang it so many times I've been regularly getting it in my head. So I gave in, put on the song, andhad the Big Ugly Cry.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

 

3 THE SHNOOGLES

Haley's been very attentive and cuddly, and Minion's been almost constantly attached to my finger.

4 THE FUTURE

As I talked about yesterday, I did the vision board.

5 THE FIGHT

My husband and I had a fight that led to me getting some fears out of my head. Feeling some relief now.

6 THE POST FIGHT CHAPPELLE

And then we cuddled and watched Chappelle Show, until he went to bed.

7 THE OPRAH

And as I wrote this I watched the latest Oprah's Life Class (excellent, I so recommend, especially the previous Deepak episode, watch here) and did a Tony Robinson exercise that made me cry again.

READY

So. ...I'm ready! I actually have to finish packing. Before going catsitting I threw at my suitcases all the things I was considering bringing. Now I have to go lay it all out and pack up the bags, see what fits. Then Fernando's up at 6 AM so I'll see him one last time. Probably cryyy cryyy cryyy again. Get a little sleep. Then go to the airport in the afternoon.

But first I'll write up tomorrow's post in advance. The long awaited episode on interpreting dreams, it's vair nice, vair cool. See you back on the coast!

 

Someone clean up this mess in me!

Tammysstudio

Yael Naïm's "Far Far": Just listening to this song and the first line made me go "huh?": How can you stay outside? There's a beautiful mess inside.

Well. That's not what my parents told me. I had to go look up the lyrics (posted under the video). Here is where they led me...

The Last Step on the Hero's Journey: Once you get the dragon's gold, if you hoard it yourself, you become a dragon, and someone will have to slay you. (Anakin Skywalker = perfect example.) You have to bring that gold back to society and share it. Whatever we learn from our personal journeys is meant to be shared.

My take on the song: A girl prays for something wonderful to happen to her, not fully realizing that she already possesses all the raw ingredients (the beautiful mess) to make something amazing. Once she is finally made aware of it she learns that to bring the mess to full realization, to make it the "something big" she's always wanted to happen to her, she has to "give birth" to it. She has to create something with it, and share it. This song is the perfect description both of the creative process, and of the last step in the hero journey.

Naim ends with the Call to Adventure:

Just look at yourself now
deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess inside
beautiful mess inside

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there are colors and shapes
dazzle in her eyes, tickle in her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarel rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go oh oh

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside

Take a deep breath and dive
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess
beautiful mess inside

Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
she was praying for something big to happen to her
every night she hears beautiful strange music
it's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
but if it fades she begs
"oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it"

She says, "I guess i'll have to give it birth
to give it birth
i guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
i guess i have to, have to give it birth
there's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere

Just look at yourself now
deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess inside
beautiful mess inside

[lyrics from sweetslyrics.com]

Props to the maker of this video for the sheer diversity of the girls portrayed.