More empathy than a Counselor Troy

I recently posted the Beatles' song "Getting Better" and my dad commented:

"I used to be cruel to my woman ... "

A raw and real lyric from John Lennon, apparently. You got to love songwriters who are willing to take the risk and put such things from their own lives out there...

And I've argued before that that's one of the ways Eminem and Kanye made it to the top of the rap ladder--by being vulnerable in their art.

Our couples' counselor is a big Brene Brown fan; but before him, there was my dad who read her books and wrote an article about her; and before him there was Lani Diane Rich. It was back when I listened to the Storywonk writing podcast that I first heard of her. She'd seen Brene's original hit Ted talk, and was struck with the realization that making your protagonist vulnerable is what will set them apart--this is what kicks your writing up a notch.

Even the King of Froth, PG Wodehouse, gave his characters weak spots--and we love Bertie Wooster all the more for his mortal dread of Aunt Agatha.

I don't think I fully got Lani's point, though, even after watching the Ted talk. Not even after reading Brene's first book. It really clicked when, in order to connect better with Fernando, I started to actively try and be more vulnerable and more empathetic. (It would have to be that way, right? You only understand empathy by practicing empathy?)

I'm trying to catch myself being unempathetic, and invulnerable, which means I'm in observation mode. Fernando's getting sick of it cause every time we watch a movie now I'm all "Ohh that scene worked because he made himself vulnerable." Or "Ohhh that was a poor empathy response." I basically rewatched all 6 Star Wars movies with a new lens on. (Fernando was patient, but he's hit his limit now. I'm vulner-banned.)

So this has basically come full circle. I started thinking about vuln/emp because of writing, it made its way through my intellectual and emotional lives, and now it's back to properly inform my understanding of art. And presumably make me a better writer. ...If I write.