So I've been getting ready to leave. Emotionally, I mean."With the personification of his destiny to guide and aid him, the hero goes forward in his adventure until he comes to the threshold guardian .... Beyond them is darkness, the unknown, and danger." Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces
1 THE MEDITATION
While catsitting I was regularly overwhelmed by the grief of leaving my fambly--my husband and Haley and Minion. So I practiced meditating until the sick feeling in my stomach would subside. Mostly just calmly breathing and telling myself over and over: This moment is perfect, this is how my life is supposed to be rit now, in this second. This moment is perfect. (It really worked. Took about 10 minutes each time.)
2 THE BIG CRY
When my beloved childhood cat had to be put down, I waited until I was alone ti have my big cry. I put on a song from The Rescuers that embodied my love for him* and had the Big Ugly Cry.
So I did this yesterday with my Leaving. When I was in Nanaimo and packing to leave my dad kept jollily singing "Leaving in a Jet Plane" and getting it in my head, and making my monkey crazy! Cause the song is so sad! He sang it so many times I've been regularly getting it in my head. So I gave in, put on the song, andhad the Big Ugly Cry.
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry
3 THE SHNOOGLES
Haley's been very attentive and cuddly, and Minion's been almost constantly attached to my finger.
4 THE FUTURE
As I talked about yesterday, I did the vision board.
5 THE FIGHT
My husband and I had a fight that led to me getting some fears out of my head. Feeling some relief now.
6 THE POST FIGHT CHAPPELLE
And then we cuddled and watched Chappelle Show, until he went to bed.
7 THE OPRAH
And as I wrote this I watched the latest Oprah's Life Class (excellent, I so recommend, especially the previous Deepak episode, watch here) and did a Tony Robinson exercise that made me cry again.
READY
So. ...I'm ready! I actually have to finish packing. Before going catsitting I threw at my suitcases all the things I was considering bringing. Now I have to go lay it all out and pack up the bags, see what fits. Then Fernando's up at 6 AM so I'll see him one last time. Probably cryyy cryyy cryyy again. Get a little sleep. Then go to the airport in the afternoon.
But first I'll write up tomorrow's post in advance. The long awaited episode on interpreting dreams, it's vair nice, vair cool. See you back on the coast!
8 comments:
We're behind you!! XOXOXOXOX
Simone.
I hope your travels and your stay are everything you want them to be.
And if you and Fernando eventually become Uh mur i cans - I welcome you.
Just don't try to live in the bible belt.
And read my blogpost because you definitely have indomitable sense of self.
You are very brave. You can do this. Safe travels, and get all the big cries out of you then you'll feel much better.
You can do this. Whether it works out where you and Fernando live in Nanaimo or not, you can do this and so can he and it will have positive effects, if only because you followed a dream.
My best for your and crossed fingers that you find an awesome job and that Fernando comes and finds one too. Or else the cats do; put them to work!
Best wishes.
good luck, London! We're always right here. I'm so impressed with how you let yourself feel all the different emotions around this move, that can be really hard to do. Thinking of you, girlfriend.
Got a candle in the window for you, frog Mabel ... I'll be waving as you fly overhead this evening.
I love the sketch. From your iPad? I can identify with all those emotions. Moving / Changing can be so challenging. See you when you arrive!
New song: "I Will Survive!" ( But a slightly EDITED version!! for your situation of course ;-)
ladada
Thanks for the support it means a lot!!
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