Stories, stories everywhere and not a drop to write...

I think most people, not just writers, see Stories wherever they go. Though I think I see characters more than stories, and usually from pop culture.

For example, I was just watching a bunch of Cee-Lo videos, and the Cee-Lo in this video would make an excellent detective. Or the hero of my next romance novel.

And every time Prince does something batshit crazy I think: You can't write this stuff! His latest: He's not letting The Time perform under that name anymore, because he owns it. They've renamed themselves The Original 7ven.

Of course, I've also always wanted to write a romance with Morris Day as the hero. "Why don't you stay awhile? See how it's done!"

Lately Prince has been making comments about how people don't know that HE wrote songs like "Nothing Compares 2 U." He's being all pissy about any song that's ever been recorded by another band. What a hi-lar-ious dude. So needs to be a side character.

   
So how do these "would make a great story/character" flashes present themselves to you?
   

Tuba Prince! (A comedic interlude)

The other night I was scanning itunes and came across a symphonic tribute to Purple Rain, with such hilarious arrangements that I have to consider this one of the great comedy albums of all time. My dad bought it for me, for Christmas.

I kept sending my brother samples of it from itunes, and of "Let's Go Crazy" he wrote: "I feel like I am walking through Manhattan with Harpo to the Algonquin Club as the opening credits roll!"

Harpo Marx (center back) with Dorothy Parker & other Algonquins.

Even though the song "The Beautiful Ones" was originally a piano based song, and therefore entirely within the range of a symphonic tribute without much alteration. But they chose a Hawaiian guitar for the melody line. Horrifically genius!

Here's two of the songs (and their originals in case you need the comparison.)






Darling Nikki... you just don't expect a song about a "sex fiend" who masturbates in hotel lobbies to be interpreted on the tuba. Bold. Very bold.

10 Lessons I Learned from Prince

I got my first Prince album from my brother. I was too young to see Purple Rain in the theatre, he saw it with my mum, and he had the cassette. I listened to it so much, he finally let me keep it. I was in grade 6.

So I spent my formative years listening to Prince. I think he's one of the reasons I continued to find the chutzpah each day to keep dressing and acting how I wanted to, though it drew a lot of sh*t from my peers.

Therefore, in honor of our upcoming Fated Meeting, here are my Life Lessons from Prince.


#1 Sex, love, and spiritual matters should all be held in reverence ...usually within the same verse.

Lovesexy: Prince's most religious album... pre-JW that is ;-)

#2 Don't be afraid to express yourself, even if you'll stand out from the crowd. Even if people will make fun of you because you're a straight guy in chick's clothes.

For the best jokes on this, see the video at the end of the post.

#3 No matter how physically different you are... OWN IT.

"Y'all is taller 'n me, but how many a you can carry off a pimp cane?"

#4 Partying is funner when you include everyone. (His JW-ness these days is surely less inclusive, but growing up it was all about the gender bending and bicuriosity and "black white Puerto Rican everybody justa freakin'".)

 

#5 Follow your heart, including your artist's heart, even if people don't understand where you're going. I was 12 when Prince followed up Purple Rain with Around the World in a Day, and I think that's when I learned what integrity meant. (...Not the actual word. Aretha Franklin had a B-side called "Integrity" and I didn't know what the f--- the word meant.)


 

#6 Eccentrics are good for society. (John Stuart Mill thought so too.)

 

 

  

Not only are they occasionally geniuses, but sometimes while making fools out of themselves they raise important questions like...

? Do artists have to be available at all times for the public (such as for interviews)? Or is it enough that they, you know, produce art?

? How far do we let corporations go in the exchange of labor and pay? Prince got fed up with Warner owning his music and since the general public didn't understand the full extent of the f**ckwaddery of the music industry, and since he went about it in his usual oddball manner, peeples made fun of him. But there are other crapitudinous companies in retail and in service... and not always a Prince to use an unpronounceable name for them.

#7 When the old ways don't work anymore, you have to experiment with new ones. Even if you fail a few times.

#8 Even geniuses fail a few times.

 
 

#9 A good swear word is a balm to the soul. He'd be sad to know I learned this from him now that he's got religion. But no one delivered a motherf***er or a "Good God!" like he did. Sigh.

And finally...

#10 Don't let the boys hog all the fun toys. 

Wendy Melvoin

Sheila E.

Candy Dulfer

New bassist Ida Nielsen

Rhonda Smith

DJ Rashida

Now if you really want a treat, this is from the Chappelle Show, where Eddie Murphy's brother told these crazy stories from the 80s when he would hang out with Eddie in Hollywood. (This is where "I'm Rick James bitch!" comes from.) They're SO funny. In this one Prince challenges Eddie and Charlie and their gang to a game of basketball. Prince really did play basketball in high school, all 5'2'' of him. 

"I dare you to challenge Prince to a game of ball one on one! ...After it was all over he took us in the house and served us pancakes."

Life Dreams: My Prince Has Come

I was working on a nice post for y'all but things kept interrupting, so I'll put it up tomorrow instead, and post something short instead.

I don't have a list anywhere of Things to Do Before I Die. But I guess I have a semi-conscious list that sort of floats around with me, because once in awhile there are these things that pop up and I'm like "Yes, I need to do that before I die."

Nothing like sky-diving (though I'd still like to do a polar bear dip, if they'd do it at night instead of the frikking morning.)

Around 2005 one of my besties was living in London, right next to Parliament, for a job. And one day said: Come visit me! And I was all, Naw that's crazy. And he was all, Why? And I was all, ... ... I guess it's not. I only had to pay for airfare, after all, which I got a deal on through the family program through my piloting papa. (Not standby, but still cheaper.) So I canceled one of the summer courses I was going to take and ran away for 10 days.

Lifelong dream trip, cause I'm a literary Anglophile. London. I visited the site Oscar Wilde's house, and the site of the club where he was when Bosie's father accused him of being a somdomite (sic). The street where Bertie Wooster lived, the apartment used as Poirot's apartment. Where Jane Austen stayed with her brother. The church where the Brownings were married in secret. It still fills my soul with a perfect-sunny-but-not-too-hot-green-day-in-June fresh feeling, every time I think of it.

Then today I was out somewhere, and standing at the bus stop, and I totally randomly thought... I really need to see Prince before he dies. Every time he came to Montreal, it was to tour an album I didn't like, so I didn't go. But I liked the last few, so I need to go. Plus I know someone whose facebook status when Michael Jackson died was, "There goes my chance to see Michael before he dies." Ack!

Well I guess this is as close to telepathy as I've ever gotten--ohhh the beautiful mental connection between me and Prince--because I just read a few hours ago, on my CBC news update email, that about 3 hours before I had this *magical thought* tickets had gone on sale for a Prince concert at the Montreal jazz fest. He called them up at the last minute and was like, I wanna play somewhere small with a dance floor. So they kicked two performers out of this great little club called Metropolis, and slotted him in.

Of course the tickets were all gone by the time I saw the news. And then I was too nervous to buy from an online scalper, but my mother encouraged me too. I hate to take chances with money... it's actually kind of a fault, if I might say so. But I gave it another go and with the help of an article found a website that has the tickets at their site before allowing them to be posted for sale. So I bought my scalpy from them instead.

Ooh the pocket book pain! The service charges are crazy!! But I've always heard Prince is amazing in small venues. He'd better be!!!

And then we can cross another dream off the nonexistent dream list.

I'm literally falling asleep on my computer.