LitDiva's Literary Awards (or: Character You'd Most Like to Slap Outside of Shakespeare)

When Jasper Fforde came out with the Thursday Next series, I was très excited. Here's how he describes it:

They are a series of books based upon the notion that what we read in books is just a small part of a larger BookWorld that exists behind the page.

A fantastical place populated by off-duty and sometimes mischievous bookpeople from the Classics to Fanfiction, and ruled over by the wheezing bureaucracy known as The council of Genres. It is their task to maintain the pageant and integrity of the books within their charge, and these efforts are sometimes thwarted by the very evildoers and bizarre plot devices that give the Bookworld its appeal.

Aided in this endeavour but sometimes disagreeing with them are Jurisfiction, the policing agency within Fiction. The adventures follow one of their operatives: A woman from the Realworld named Thursday Next, whose reality-based credentials bring a dimension of independent thought to the proceedings, something that is often absent in the mostly predetermined Bookworld.

Confused? Excellent - turn to page one and start reading!

The world is fantastic for lit lovers, but I only got through one book because of one problem: The protagonist. Thursday Next kind of has, like, no personality.

But LitDiva makes me wish (just a little bit, cause I own 600 unread books) that I could keep reading them. She doesn't like Thursday either, but is able to enjoy all the great lit jokes, like the Bookie awards portrayed in The Well of Lost Plots:

In the book the have categories like "Most Troubled Romantic Lead" which is famously won by Heathcliff 77 years running despite a drastic campaign by Hamlet that left him overplaying his "antic disposition" so much that he had to be sent on a retreat for two weeks to collect himself.

There's a category called Character You'd Most Like to Slap (in Shakespeare), so Diva and her husband decided to extend it to all books. Here's one of their winners:

The Fellowship of the Ring:  Frodo.

The burden is too burdensome **whine whine whine**.  

And some of the awards they made up:

Best Character Name:  The Unitary Authority of Warington Cat (actual name of the Cheshire Cat according to The Well of Lost Plots)

Most Slappable Cast:  Gone with the Wind (except Wade who we felt got slapped more than enough by his mama)

I encourage you to read the rest of the post, it's quite funny. I'm not sure what I'd add... hmmm...

For Most Slappable Cast I would nominate Wuthering Heights. And I'd add an award for Most Unnecessary Walking Descriptions and award it to Lord of the Rings--though from what I heard any Robert Jordan book would be a serious contender. As for Character I'd Most Like to Slap (in Shakespeare)? Gotta be the Friar who helps Juliet commit fake suicide but doesn't think to inform Romeo.