What gets me through a bad day

Shawn & Gus

Gus: [grabbing his cell phone] I'm out of here. I'm calling a cab.

Sheriff Mendel: Well, those things don't work out here. We got no TVs, no radio, no refrigerators.

Gus: Sounds like prison. Except they have all those things.

Shawn: Gus, don't be the American adaptation of the British Gus.

Shawn: Gus, don't be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan.

Gus: It's Azkaban.

Shawn: I've heard it both ways.

Shawn: Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network.

Shawn: Gus, don't be exactly half of an eleven-pound Black Forest ham!

Shawn: Gus, don't be both Ashlee Simpson albums.

Gus: There were three Ashlee Simpson albums.

Shawn: That can't possibly be true.

Gus: Autobiography, Bittersweet—

Shawn: I will not do this with you right now!

Shawn: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming their pants aren't on fire.

Bad Guy: But know this: one stupid move, and I've got more than enough plastic bags for your body parts.

Shawn: Note to self: call Hefty with commercial idea.

Shawn: I have an idea, but we'll need cool names.

Juliet: Shawn, just so you know, if you go to prison I will not wait for you!

Shawn: Of course you won't. I'll escape; we both know that.

Gus: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?

Shawn: I should ask you the same question.

Gus: I work here!

Shawn: I should ask you a different question.

And the one that expresses how I've felt all this year:

Juliet: You're acting like a child, Shawn.

Shawn: I am not acting!