Remembrance Day and Trauma

Today is Canada's veteran's day: Remembrance Day. The war-related topic most of my mind this past year was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Trauma happens as the result of all kinds of experiences; but it's interesting how similar the end results are. Being raped, being assaulted, being abused by your parents or your spouse--these things work on the brain and body the same way as being in a war.

The results are terrible, as some of you know. Sufferers tend to isolate, and become emotionally disconnected. They can become depressed, anxious, suicidal. Much of which is caused by flashbacks.

Flashbacks have become a cliché, like Principle Skinner hiding under his desk at the sound of a helicopter. But they're much more insidious. The Mindsight dude theorizes that flashbacks are recorded as implicit memories (recorded by the amygdala), rather than explicit memories (recorded by the hippocampus.)

During trauma the hippocampus shuts out the recording of what's going on; so the event imprints itself on your brain in terms of feeling, but not as an actual explicit memory that you can recall and talk about. The memory returns to you unbidden, as a sudden wash of emotion that feels like it's happening in the moment. You don't recall a memory, you instead are overwhelmed by rage, or terror, and you don't know why so maybe you blame it on whatever's in front of you.

And it prevents people from being able to tell coherent stories of themselves, of their past, of that period of time. It's a frightening state that affects your own sense of identity, and it's a terrible way to live. And when we send young people off to war, this is one of the possible things we inflict on them. What an awful thing to burden a 20 year old with, and it destroys marriages, families, lives. On top of which, many countries (like Canada and the US) don't provide enough support and therapeutic treatment for PTSD. It's a fricking disgrace.

...And in re the recent subject of misogyny and the roles of men and women in our society: Historically this is something we've overwhelmingly done to men. Making someone go out and kill other human beings is pretty awful, when you think about it.

At my first pow wow I learned there's always a parade of veterans, honoring them. Being a warrior is still taken very seriously, and I've always wondered if that--and the events surrounding, like cleansing a soldier who's just returned--helps people heal better.

Anyway, here's today's song. Metallica's "Hero of the Day" which sounds like it's about PTSD and the intrusion of violent feelings.

Don't want your aid
But the fist I've made for years
Won't hold or feel
No I'm not all me
So please excuse me
While I tend to how I feel