Holy crap meditating works

I said yesterday that I only set one goal this year. But I was working on things. Mostly mindfulness and meditation. I didn't meditate every day, but it has become a habit. Especially if I'm feeling tired and skittish, or depressed, or upset.

My technique is this: To sit quietly (in my bedroom, in the break room at work) and start counting my breaths. Nice deep ones, cause they really help to regulate emotion I've discovered. It's harder to cry or feel butterflies in the stomach if you're breathing deeply. I also followed the advice of one yoga dude to count OUT and then IN rather than the opposite way. So that each count is ending on a high note (breathing in new air, new life) rather than a down note (breathing out the stale air). Maybe it's silly, but it requires a bit more concentration, so then I focus more on that, and less on my problems.

Once the breathing's going, then I just listen to everything around me. I become mindful of my surroundings. I listen to the traffic, or the tick of the clock, or the people around me on the train speaking Chinese. I might keep my eyes on one spot, but try to take in what's in my peripheral vision. Anything to get the brain focusing on the NOW. This moment right now. Not what's just happened, not my worries about the future, just the moment I'm in.

I also remember one advice from Deepak Chopra: The most important being in the world is the one in front of you right now.

Sometimes my emotions are so upset, I can't get away from them. So then I just try to sit with them, with acceptance. I'm allowed to be worried, heart broken, etc.

I would do that for 1 - 5 minutes. Just trying to give the right brain space to breathe. Cause the right side lives in the moment, doesn't care what people think of it, doesn't worry--it just is. And it's more connected to the emotional cues coming from the body.

So here's are the cool things I learned from this:

(1) I had read that emotion starts in the body, and then goes to the right side of the brain. And by being more mindful of my body, I realized it's true. Butterflies in the stomach, or light headedness, or warmth in the arms, or a rapidly beating heart... there were all kinds of physical reactions I became aware of while meditating. Once aware of them, I could change them. Once they died down, then my emotions settled down. Cause I was no longer sending panicky cues to my brain.

(2) The short-term effect (right after meditating) wasn't to feel jolly. I would end up feeling sort of neutral. My body was calm, and I'd go along with my day. Have my lunch, watch TV, read a book, whatever.

(3) Here's the really neat part... I noticed a LONG term effect. I noticed that later in the day, or the week, I was no longer stressing over whatever had upset me. My problems didn't have quite as strong a hold on me.

For example, one day I was pissed off at someone. I vented to my parents, then went off to my room for the evening. I meditated for a minute or two, then went on with my TV watching. Hours later I suddenly realized: I'm not thinking about this person anymore. I haven't thought about it for hours. I don't feel the least bit upset.

WTF!!!

That happened a couple times. Things that I know would normally be preying on my mind, keeping me awake at night, etc. ...I just wasn't obsessing over them. I know that in the past, even if I forgot about something upsetting for, say, an hour, once I thought about it again it would trigger my emotions again. I would be hit by butterflies in the stomach, or whatever. But that's happening less and less.

I don't think any of this is showing on the outside. I think people still see me as stressed and skittish. But I can see the difference inside and it's vair vair interesting.